Future Help Wanted Ad?

[MineralMan]

Entry Level Management Trainee - Under close supervision, do meaningless tasks in corporate office. Requirements: Recent MBA or higher degree from Ivy League-class University. Five years of unpaid internship experience at Fortune 500 company. Ability to work long hours on short notice and all weekends. Outstanding communications skills. Knowledge of and experience with: Microsoft Office, C++, AutoCAD, SQL, and other unspecified proprietary software. Unmarried. Must be currently employed. Class A commercial Driver's License required. No pre-existing medical conditions. Must never have had Facebook, Twitter, or other social media accounts. Easy-to-spell name a must. Multi-lingual, fluent, in English, Japanese, and Urdu. Submit resume, full length photo, detailed dating history, and 27 references in PDF format, along with passwords for all email accounts, bank accounts, and all other private accounts. Salary range: $7.50-7.87/hr. Must be prepared to train H1B replacement on short notice.

[MineralMan]

1. What's missing in this ad is the requirement be female.

That's against the law, you know....That's what the full-length photo is for.

[Brigid]

2. We're heading in that direction, that's for sure.

[MineralMan]

3. So it seems. I recommend that everyone who can do so begin

to convert to entrepreneurship. It's going to get harder and harder to support oneself as an employee. Find a skill, a talent, or a product you can market independently, if you can. If you can't, the world of that ad will be your world.

[Hassin Bin Sober]

6. That's what I'm doing.

After 20 years in financial services, I'm going back to my construction roots.

My biggest impetus and motivator is watching how my brother, a union carpenter, is being treated after 20 years with the same company. The original owner/founder of his company died and now the 4 kids running the company are all fighting and scraping to see who can build the biggest mcmansion and/or fuck the employees out of their living wages.

First, they started with "we can't pay you scale on this job but $25/hour cash with no benefits will have to do". My brother was one of the first to say fuck that and they got rid of him. Then it went to $20/hour no benefits. Now they are at $15/hour no benefits. Keep in mind these are all people who contributed to and were expecting a decent pension after years of body-abusing work. Working for cash, besides being illegal, doesn't add anything to the retirement benefits.

The guys he talks to say they work them through lunch and fuck them out of time and a half and have to be chased for money. They have laborers doing unlicensed shoddy plumbing work.

The only consolation, if there is any, is the company is losing commercial accounts left and right and won't be in business long. You don't get a lot of "oopsies" in commercial construction.

But the kids all have 7800 square feet houses. Yea for them.

My brother and I have a bunch of work lined up and I really like working with him.

[MineralMan]

7. There you go. Eliminating all the middlemen

works pretty well, as long as you have something useful to offer.

It doesn't have to be manual labor, either. Anything of value can be marketed by an individual.

I'm too old for construction work, although I've done it. These days I'm writing web sites for people who are in construction, and many other businesses I know something about. What I'm selling are my communications skills. Pays OK. Not terrific, but OK. I'm as busy as I want to be, so I'm a happy guy.

[ieoeja]

4. Actually, they want you to have social media accounts.

Because they want to peruse it and verify that you are the right type of person. If you do not have a social media account, they figure you are either hiding something or are socially inept.

[MineralMan]

5. This firm is looking for lonely introverts, though.

The better to exploit them with, you see. It's the next wave.

[tones fucyes]

8. Hell, check this out. McD's wants a degree for a cashier position.

http://washingtonexaminer.com/mcdonalds-want-ad-demands-bachelors-degree-two-years-experience-for-cashier/article/2526145

"With colleges producing more graduates, and youth unemployment at a sky-high 11.5 percent, even landing a job selling Big Macs is getting competitive.

Consider: A job opening at a Massachusetts McDonald's restaurant for a full-time cashier requires one to two years experience and a bachelor's degree.

"Get a weekly paycheck with a side order of food, folks and fun," offered McDonalds.

It is not clear if the fast-food restaurant really wants that kind of experience or is fishing for the highest-qualified applicants. The website for the Winchedon, Mass., McDonald's also lists jobs in Spanish.

Youth advocates said the ad is proof of how bad the employment situation is for kids. "Sadly we've taxed-and-spent our way to an economy in which there's intense competition for just about any job. Combine that with government meddling in the student loan market that has artificially inflated the cost of higher education and young people are getting screwed over even worse than the country overall," said Evan Feinberg, president of the Washington-based youth advocacy group Generation Opportunity."