Markie Sanford had his mistress/fianceé/hussy with him at his victory party:

[Are_grits_groceries]

http://www.thestate.com/2013/04/02/2705261/sanford-rises-again.html

The event was at a place called "Sticky Fingers".
Can't make this shite up.

[Kahuna]

1. At least rudy guiliano married his mistress before trotting her out. nt

[brooklynite]

2. Title is inappropriate

Criticize Mark Sanford all you want; not sure why Maria Belén Chapur needs to be tarred.

[dawg]

4. She did the same thing he did.

I personally think they need to be tarred equally. And he who is without sin can cast the first stone. (Or, um, lump of tar.)

[baldguy]

161. Sanford's sin isn't adultery.

His sin is abandoning his public responsibilities, lying to his staff & his colleagues about where he was, and using public funds to conduct his affair. Maria had nothing to do with any of that.

[marlakay]

176. That's what I have been commenting

On every blog that keeps acting like his only sin was an affair, which can be forbidden.

As far as I am concerned the lying in office and spending public funds should keep him out of any office.

[Comrade_McKenzie]

6. Takes two to tango. nt

[Are_grits_groceries]

13. I'll criticize her too.

She was not a stupid woman and knew he was married. They both ran around on the state's dime at times.
He wants all to be forgiven and forgotten. Sanford wants to marry her and pretend that nothing happened. Normally I could give a happy damn what he does. However, she is inextricably linked in this hot mess.

So you declare her beyond reproach when she was a willing participant in his charade.

[Whisp]

33. why didn't you call Him a hussy...

good lord, what century is this?

[brooklynite]

46. ...at the very least, go with "strumpet"

[Whisp]

51. aren't strumpets something you have with tea

with a bit of butter on it?

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

66. I believe that you are thinking of

hot crossed buns.

[dlwickham]

130. kinky devil aren't you

[sabrina 1]

87. Aren't those 'crumpets'?

Words, 'what's in a name, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'. Shakespeare was so wise.

[Capt. Obvious]

67. Or floozie

[BainsBane]

143. Harlot? Woman of ill repute? Tainted lady?

He's the adulterer, not her.

[KittyWampus]

160. DU'ers weren't as accepting of Edward's impregnated mistress. Funny that,

[BainsBane]

173. That's something you should definitely

take up with those DUers. It's not about accepting her or not. It's the lying politicians.

[progressoid]

196. She's not an adulterer?

If she engaged in a adulterous affair, doesn't that make her an adulterer also?



eta: Frankly, I couldn't care less either way. The use of the term "adulterer" seems a little middle ages to me. It just seems that if one is guilty, so is the other.

[BainsBane]

198. not up on my bible rules

but I thought the adulterer was the married person? But really, I don't care because she's not running for office. A lot of people have affairs, and I don't care. I really don't care when they are in office either, except this guy is a repug and if it can be used to defeat him, good.

[progressoid]

199. Yeah, I just edited my post.

I don't really care either way. It all seems a little puritanical.

[MADem]

189. That would make him a rake, a bounder, and a cad...and he is all that, and more! nt

[Kahuna]

121. At least he didn't call her a harlot. Hussy is mild compared to that. nt

[PassingFair]

159. I think he actually used the term "soul-mate"

As if he HAD a soul.

[Katashi_itto]

139. I would go with "cheap whore" as a good description of him.

[MADem]

191. Well, his ex recounted with some detail that his frugality knew no bounds! nt

[Gormy Cuss]

40. Problem is, you didn't criticize her *too.*

You're calling her names and letting him skate in that OP.

[HappyMe]

14. It takes two.

They both deserve criticism.

[MFM008]

135. You have to blame both

She knew he was married and his entire situation. This may not seem like a big deal to some, but it goes to character. He lied, again and again. She was complicit.

[BainsBane]

144. She's not running for public office

And while he may be morally culpable, that's really none of our business. I care about the jerk that wants to be elected again.

[KittyWampus]

162. it's our business when he uses public money to pay for his jaunts and takes off from work to philand

philander and leaves his staff high and dry for days on end.

[BainsBane]

172. true, but that has nothing to do with her moral virtue.

[Mass]

3. Good for him. Do you need more hypocrisy in this story?

The guy is a dolt and has a lot of ethics problems as well as political problems, but his relationship with his ex-wife is not one of my concerns (and frankly, she is the only person who may hold a grudge against this person).

Also, Jenny Sanford is no better than Mark Sanford when it comes to political issues.

[mercuryblues]

55. well

except for him leaving the country for 5 days and noone in the state knew where he was. he didn't answer his cell phone during that time. So yeah, his affair is a political problem. Using taxpayer money to woo his mistress is another issue. So it is not really just between him and his wife.

[Mass]

59. As I said, plenty of ethic problems.

No need to call the woman a hussy and other things like that. Had he done this things to woe his wife, it would have been just as bad.

[truebluegreen]

5. I've got no problems with her, only with him.

Falling in love happens. Hiking the Appalachian Trail when you are supposed to be in charge of a state? Not so much. And his policies sucked then and suck now. I hope the people of SC get it right this time.

[geek tragedy]

7. Hussy? No thanks on the slut-shaming. nt

[Sheldon Cooper]

10. Agreed.

And I like Are Grits Groceries, too. Kinda disappointing to see the slut-shaming going on.

[snooper2]

21. I don't think anybody is shaming her, just laughing at her and him and the whole situation....

I would prefer they all get out more for our entertainment



As an aside, I was curious on the etymology of the word hussy so started of course with the google search. Found a cool designer who started the "hussy" label, one of the top hits She's one woman taking back a word!

See below---
"The Hussy woman is confident, sassy and self-assured"




http://www.hussy.com.au/about/designer-profile.html

Marie Ritchie is an impressive combination of designer, artist and entrepreneur. Her creative talents and love for fashion emerged from a young age when she would design and make her own clothes.

Born from an innate passion for style and love for meticulously crafted pieces of art, Marie launched the Hussy label in 1995. With humble beginnings, she set up a creative studio in her parent’s garage at the tender age of 21. The Hussy Empire now encompasses 3 state of the art flagship stores within Australia and Indonesia. Hussy provides digitally savvy Fashionistas a sought after virtual shopping experience through its online boutique.

The Hussy range now includes over 100 stylish garments and accessories and is available in over 150 boutiques nationally. From Hong Kong to Dubai, Hussy is a brand internationally recognised and is stocked across the globe.

The Hussy woman is confident, sassy and self-assured. She has a flair for effortless glamour and manifests the life she seeks. The brand is lead by Marie’s dedication to empowering and inspiring women to express the goddess from within.

[geek tragedy]

32. Every term of disparagement has been reclaimed by someone.

Doesn't strip the word of its disparaging baggage when used to disparage.

[snooper2]

34. Yep, makes words cool like that...

So you like the clothes line, pretty cool I need to turn my wife on to her website-

[lumberjack_jeff]

76. Unintentional irony is the best kind.

It doesn't escape notice that you were the first poster in the thread to call her a slut.

[cyberswede]

86. Um...

Do you know what "slut-shaming" is?

geek tragedy was taking the OP to task for inappropriately referring to the woman as a "hussy."

[redqueen]

91. "Wherher to be ironic..." are you serious?

[redqueen]

96. The person who posted this story didn't use the term.

The person you replied to was not using the term to describe the woman the OP labeled in such a nasty way as to elicit the response she did. Got anything to say about that, btw? The OP?

[redqueen]

99. Welcome to DU. nt

[redqueen]

90. Using that term is not anywhere close to being the same calling a woman a slut.

I have problems with the term, but I would never accuse anyone who used it of "calling a woman a slut", because that's just idiotic.

[BainsBane]

141. yes, and I would prefer not to see

the s word bandied about. I love Greek Tragedy, just not loving his word choice here.

[CTyankee]

93. Yes, I think she is a "shameless hussy," something I have secretely aspired to in a way.

It has a 19th century quaintness to it...

[KittyWampus]

163. "Slut Shaming" is now the most over-used phrase on DU.

[geek tragedy]

165. Well, no, the problem is that there

is too much of the aforementioned practice still going on.

[Gravitycollapse]

193. And with that, end thread.

[Paul E Ester]

8. Nothing wrong with having multiple girlfriends.

Whats up with the American Taliban? Puritan roots of this nation run deep.

Being able to manage multiple relationships is not something to be embarrassed about.

Can you actually have too much love?

Americans needs more love not less.

[meow2u3]

17. There IS something wrong with having multiple girlfriends

if you're a guy who preaches family values. It's called hypocrisy.

[Paul E Ester]

19. Are you a member of his flock?

If not, why do you care. Are you using a RW paradigm to measure his moral acceptability to society. There are many ways to live

The witch hunt against Bill was wrong and the American Taliban need to grow up.

[meow2u3]

26. I'm not using RW values; he's the one using them

I'm just pointing out the hypocrisy of right-wingers preaching moral values and not only refusing to practice what they preach in their personal lives, but also judging and condemning Democrats who have affairs and do not preach family values.

[Paul E Ester]

28. Fair enough, the straightjacket of "family values"

is bs and anyone who wants to use a moral club is a member of the "American Taliban". I'm sure this rw scum has enough other defects we don't need to use tactics of the taliban.

America, where we condemn love and praise war.

[LanternWaste]

31. Holding an individual to the same standard they hold others to is neither...

Holding an individual to the same standard they hold others to is neither a witch-hunt nor childish; it is simple consistency.

[Paul E Ester]

70. Isn't it catching them at their own game

a lame game at that.

[VanillaRhapsody]

155. Or Hoisted by One's Own Petard!

is another good description

[cali]

9. who gives a flying fuck?

Hypocritical dog shit and slut shaming.

Disgusting.

[Matariki]

115. +1

Can't believe I'm reading a post calling a woman "hussy" on a progressive message board in the 21st Century. Sigh.

[VanillaRhapsody]

156. Perhaps the people who actually live in that state might give a flying fuck.

[W_HAMILTON]

11. Hah, this is why I wish people would post (SATIRE) on threads from The Onion.

Fact is, it's becoming more and more difficult to tell the difference between satire and this twisted reality we now live in.

I knew Sanford was running for representative of my district, but I don't think I quite put two and two together until you mentioned Sticky Fingers (a local restaurant I'm familiar with). I guess I still remember him as a state official, so hearing him frequent local places, it's like a realization that, "oh, god, he's here now."

On a side note, his candidacy is strange. It always seemed that his district's coastal residents -- especially the "@$&! government!" Republican types -- resented "upstate politicians;" in their mind, the politicians in Columbia would just take the taxes generated by the tourism along the coast and use it to better the upstate rather than the coastal regions (e.g., there's still no real direct interstate-like thoroughfare into Myrtle Beach). Now, these same Republicans choose an "upstate politician" as their candidate for the House? And one with all the baggage he has? It makes no sense. Real world idiocy like this is going to put The Onion out of business.

I recently moved from VA and have yet to register to vote here. I'll have to get to that so I can be sure to cast a vote against this dumbass in the upcoming election

[mainer]

12. I just don't want to go there.

The man's human. He's imperfect. He fell in love, and he followed his heart.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

[Paul E Ester]

20. +1

[MFM008]

136. sooooooo

no accountability? Lets do whatever we want if """"LOVE""""" is involved. No one is saying burn the witch, but come onnnn.

[October]

181. Really. Commitments mean nothing?

This affects his kids, too. The asshole!

And, am I wrong, wasn't this "other woman" also married with children?

I cannot believe his gall. His poor kids...not sure if his wife (ex) was open to all this as others suggest.

Nice of him to lord it over everyone though.

[stevenleser]

15. As others have said, "slut shaming" is a no go for me.

There are a lot of ways you can criticize a Republican without resorting to that.

[Agschmid]

54. TY! n/t

[IdaBriggs]

16. I'm good with the "slut shaming." Screw around with a married person behind their spouse's back -

and I will "slut shame" you until the cows come home MAN or WOMAN.

Yes, what he did was the bad, but that doesn't make his partner good.

I wouldn't want to be friends with them.

[cali]

18. wow. It doesn't get more puritanical and judgmental than that.

[HappyMe]

22. So is she to be held up as an example of

greatness in womanhood?

They are both at fault here.

edit to add -- Besides this fine example of cheating on your spouse is brought to you by the 'family values' and '1 man and 1 woman' marriage party.

[cali]

53. uh, no. why does it have to be one or another>

[HappyMe]

60. No, it doesn't have to be one or the other.

She's not blameless here at all. I personally think if you are married, then you are married. You made a promise, stick to it, or get divorced.

She knew he was married, she's no damn better than he is.

[LadyHawkAZ]

167. According to his ex-wife, his wedding vows did not include fidelity

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/jenny-sanford-south-carolina-gov-mark-sanford-refused/story?id=9727121#.UVy0kFeRdMg

So it wasn't like this was an unexpected thing. My problems are the hypocrisy involved in being a "family values" pusher, and the use of taxpayer money to get laid in Argentina. But, that's a Republican for ya...

[IdaBriggs]

29. Yup. That is me - I am very puritanical and judgmental.

Especially when it comes to unsanctioned adultery.

I got that way a long time ago. My then boyfriend/now husband and I were camping with a bunch of his friends. The only guy in the group who was married left his (pregnant) wife home with their two young children, and promptly picked up a "camping fling". I thought it was strange, but everyone whispered to me that he and his wife had an "open relationship" so I kept my nose out of it. It got awkward a couple of times (like when it became apparent he hadn't told her he was married and she was talking about how she didn't sleep with married men), but my boyfriend/now husband hustled me away and we talked about keeping out of other people's drama. I felt guilty for not saying anything to her, but resolved that she was a grown woman, and it wasn't my business. (I have questioned that decision many times in the years since, because I feel we were complicit in her deception.) There was no question about their level of activity - we were camping in tents, and it was an unpleasant trip.

During the same period, another friend of mine found out she had been given an STD that was going to seriously impact both her health, and possibly that of any children she might have in the future if appropriate precautions weren't made. Insult to the injury: the guy knew he had the disease, but didn't tell her until *after* he slept with her, because otherwise he was afraid she wouldn't. I woke up on the next-to-last day on the trip from a nightmare about this situation, with the pregnant wife on my mind, and politely talked to the "camping fling" guy saying, "look, I know it is none of my business, but I just had a nightmare about babies and STDs, so will you please just reassure me that you guys are using protection?" (And yes, I know that doesn't protect from all, but some is better than none.)

Dipshit told me "she isn't the type of girl who gets STDs." I flipped out - "She was sleeping with a total stranger within two hours of meeting you, and STDs don't care if you are NICE!" before stalking away.

The next day we all arrived home, and as we dropped him off, his wife did the "pregnant waddle" up to me, and bluntly asked if her husband had been "good" - huh? I asked what she meant, and she clarified what "good" meant. I hedged, hemmed, hawed: "shouldn't you be having this conversation with him?" as I came to terms with the fact she was unaware of her "open marriage" and that Dipshit had been lying to everyone because that is the type of person he was. Finally I told her all I could say was that for the sake of her unborn baby, I wouldn't recommend sleeping with him without a condom until after he'd had some testing done.

They patched things together for a few more years; later he brought another mistress to a wedding that he'd sent her home from, but at that point, I was staying pretty far away from the both of them. It made me look at my husband-to-be in a whole new light: "everyone of you guys was covering for him - would you do that to me, too?"

For me, it isn't so much about "what parts are going where" but about the deception and lies. If you aren't happy in your marriage or relationship, leave; don't endanger someone else's health and well being, or humiliate them in front of people by making them look like stupid gullible fools.

It is mean and shameful behavior, and I don't want to be around it. There were other incidents in my life (some of them painful because people I cared about were struggling with these issues), but they simply have reinforced that people who "cheat" are really displaying character I don't respect. I also trust the people involved to handle it, and I don't want my nose rubbed in it.

These are my thoughts. Your mileage may vary.

[KittyWampus]

170. So you were good with the woman Edwards impregnated on the campaign trail? Or is this DU'ers chance

to prove how uber-liberal they are. LOL!

[treestar]

200. There's nothing wrong with screwing a married man?

I didn't know that. I've been limiting myself to single men. No wonder I have such a hard time. Didn't know all the married ones were A_OK to go after.

[Paul E Ester]

24. I'm confused, you have an equality avatar but sound like you are a member of a fundamentalist

reactionary group. Are you really that freaked out by sex?

Are you so reactionary that you only see one possible way for people to be in a relationship?

They say three left turns, make a right. Sounds like your moral compass has made three left turns.

[IdaBriggs]

38. Nope. I am very clear on my issues with sex and deception.

You can read the "long" reply I made above if you aren't clear.

If you don't understand the boundaries "don't lie to your partner(s)" that is okay.

If you make an agreement that you are in a monogamous relationship, and then decide you are the only one who is going to know about the rule change, you are not a Nice human being.

If you make an agreement that you are in a monogamous relationship, and then decide you want to change the rules, tell your partner; they get to decide whether or not they want to be in that type of relationship.

When you don't tell them because you are afraid they will leave you, so you take away their power to decide, and possibly endanger their health and well being because of it, I will join in the "slut shaming" regardless of sex.

And if you are stupid enough to sleep with someone whose partner *thinks* they are in a monogamous relationship, a) they are not nice; b) you are stupid for sleeping with somebody like that; and c) you aren't nice, either.

These are my views. Yours may be different.

Welcome to my puritanical and judgmental world.

[bravenak]

114. Thank you!

When having sex with someone other than your partner, nastiness ensues. I personally know someone who's husband gave her HIV, 3 years later she has gone full blown. Because he fell in "love" with someone else,she now has a death sentence.

[Whisp]

35. so you don't like Bill Clinton much, then?

good.

or is it only the 'trashy' women (Hillary called these people Trash and that makes Bill what exactly? bigger trash to stick his junk into trash - someone explain that one to me?) that get the blame and the menfolk can just chuckle about it while the hussies and trash take the blame.

[HangOnKids]

44. A Bill Clinton word salad

What fun!

[Paul E Ester]

166. I like the term '"word salad"

I cook up a few myself.

[IdaBriggs]

45. I despised the fact Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky disrespected Hillary Clinton

and Chelsea Clinton, and gave the Republicans an opening to IMPEACH HIM / distract the country because of his *private* moral failings.

Monica knew he was married, and so did he. Neither one of them were being "nice" to Hillary when they did what they did, assuming she and Bill had an agreement they were in a monogamous relationship.

I didn't want to be dragged into the middle of it, and I trust the married folk to handle their business. If she divorced him, I would have supported her. She chose to work it through, and I choose to support them in that, too.

I still think he was a good President, but politically, I think he would have been able to do more if they hadn't been able to distract him with his inappropriate sex life. (Please note that Obama was able to get health care reform passed, and no one has pulled a blue dress into the mix yet.)

I am not personal friends with any of the above players, so we don't discuss it.

[Whisp]

52. a most reasonable reply, Ida.

thanks.

I think I agree, mostly.

[VanillaRhapsody]

157. Monica apparently went to Washington with the intent to sleep with the President

as I remember the story going.....

[Agschmid]

57. You should probably just get rid of you little equality heart...

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Hypocrisy is killer... (and before you alert on this... please notice the sentence above is IdaBriggs sig line.)

[IdaBriggs]

58. Why on earth would I do that? I *support* marriage equality.

Lying and cheating, not so much.

If you are under the mistaken impression that the "equality heart" is about unsanctioned adultery, you need to change yours.

[Agschmid]

61. Not under than impression... pretty familiar with the symbol.

Just disgusted that someone who has that symbol is also apparently perfectly okay with "slut shaming"...

[IdaBriggs]

62. I am *totally* okay with "slut shaming" people who do what these two did.

Lying and cheating on a spouse who thinks she is in a monogamous relationship is despicable.

They both participated. SHAME ON THEM.

If you want to be friends with them, that is your business. I have a very low opinion of their character, and choose to say so publicly.

[Agschmid]

63. Yup you win!

I give... you are so right it's okay to "slut shame"... but only when you feel like because you personally have a low opinion of character it.

Hey I bought you a t-shirt.... you are going to love it, especially for those special times when you single people out and feel it's okay to shame them.



Stay classy Ida.

[IdaBriggs]

65. Okay - Lol. Totally weird.

The sad thing is, I feel like we are having two totally different conversations, where we are both using the same words, and talking about two totally different things.

Are you seriously saying you don't think these two people did anything wrong?

You don't find it offensive that, while he was preaching "moral and family values" he was lying to his wife while exposing her to STDs without her knowledge and consent?

You think it is okay for this woman to sleep with a man whose wife believes he is in a monogamous relationship?

I am pretty old fashioned: don't bring new people into your relationship without consent.

If there had been one five minute phone call from either of these two to Mrs. Sanford, you wouldn't be getting my "tsk, tsk" finger.

"Hello, Jennie? I've met this beautiful woman, and we want to have sex. Do you mind? Hello? Hello?"

or even --

"Hello, Jennie? Your husband is absolutely amazing - do you mind if I take him somewhere to boink him senseless? Hello? Hello?"

Who knows - she might have said yes.

[Agschmid]

72. Not that weird... you said you were *okay* with it.

The sad thing is, I feel like we are having two totally different conversations, where we are both using the same words, and talking about two totally different things.

Are you seriously saying you don't think these two people did anything wrong?

No.

You don't find it offensive that, while he was preaching "moral and family values" he was lying to his wife while exposing her to STDs without her knowledge and consent?

I don't find it that offensive, it happens all the time nowadays.

You think it is okay for this woman to sleep with a man whose wife believes he is in a monogamous relationship?

Are you sure they were? You know them personally... and know their relationship details? But if they were monogamous then it was wrong.

I am pretty old fashioned: don't bring new people into your relationship without consent.

If there had been one five minute phone call from either of these two to Mrs. Sanford, you wouldn't be getting my "tsk, tsk" finger.

"Hello, Jennie? I've met this beautiful woman, and we want to have sex. Do you mind? Hello? Hello?"

or even --

"Hello, Jennie? Your husband is absolutely amazing - do you mind if I take him somewhere to boink him senseless? Hello? Hello?"

Who knows - she might have said yes.

Okay now back to our disagreement. Why in this case are you okay with placing blame... aka "slut shaming"... It should NEVER be okay, you can disagree with someone, you can dislike how they did something... but slut shaming is NEVER okay. If you make the argument that it should be okay in this case then you are also making the argument that it is always okay... you cannot pick and choose.

We are going to disagree on this I believe so you can post a reply to this I'll read it, and I'll be done. But please enjoy the last word.

[IdaBriggs]

80. Reasonable on both of our parts (yeah, discussion board!).

We have our first "real" issue here:

ME: You don't find it offensive that, while he was preaching "moral and family values" he was lying to his wife while exposing her to STDs without her knowledge and consent?

YOU: I don't find it that offensive, it happens all the time nowadays.

For me, the key part of the phrase is "lying to his wife while exposing her to STDs without her knowledge and consent" and I *do* find it offensive. I *want* the people doing it to feel shame, but more importantly, I don't want them doing it. (You can read some of my other replies for background on this.) I value knowledge and consent, and believe not allowing someone that level of control over their own health and well being is one of the worst things you can do to another person in this life.

We do know the wife thought they were in a monogamous relationship based on news reports and her public statements, so we are in agreement that the behavior is "wrong".

I believe both of the cheaters are SLUTS and should be shamed. I also think ADULTEROUS LYING ASSHOLES fits, too. I can probably come up with a few more insults, but at the end of the day they hurt people who cared about them who did nothing to deserve it.

Presumably he wasn't happy in his marriage; instead of working on repairing it, he brought someone else into it without inquiring as to whether his wife was amenable. He took away her choice. Supposedly, once upon a time, he loved her.

I don't believe a new "true love" makes it okay to do that type of stuff to other people. Like I pointed out, either one of them could have picked up the phone, and let the "innocent" party have some control over her own participation in this triangle. Instead (per the reports), they enjoyed the added "illicit titillation" to their multi-year affair, and totally damaged a third party's ability to trust her own judgment when it comes to believing someone she loved, plus publicly humiliating her in front of her children by declaring another woman to be her partner's 'soul mate' all in addition to STD exposure, etc.

"SLUT" is a mild word for that kind of scum.

Are we at understanding of each other's point of view, even if we don't agree?

[CTyankee]

100. I think the public humiliation is what bothers me. What kind of person does this

to the parent of their children? I personally know of people who have had "retaliatory" affairs of their own and made sure a few carefully selected "friends" know about it. And that is sad, because no good ever comes of that. But I guess some people have to stumble along like that...

I think it would have been easier on Jenny Sanford if he had simply told her he felt their marriage was over and he wanted his freedom to find someone else. That way, they could have had a quiet separation and he would be free to see his Argentine mistress. But living under the same roof as her and doing this and then announcing that soul mate shit so publicly had to be intentional cruelty.

[IdaBriggs]

111. Narcissist. It really is all about *him* and his happiness.

Why, oh why couldn't the woman who gave him four children who had stood by him for fifteen years and helped him realize his ambitions just understand that this was T R U E L O V E ???

And her? I hate women who make the rest of us look like stupid predators.

These two make me want to vomit.

[CTyankee]

127. Bad as it is, being told by your husband he just doesn't want to continue the marriage

is better than finding that out in a very public way and she's "the last to know." Even if he admits to having the affair, telling his wife first and working out an agreement whereby they jointly issue a press release saying they are ending their marriage is far preferable to her being blindsided.

I don't know about her, but her culture might be more European in her outlook about these things. They do call Buenos Aires the "Paris of South America." So I suspect this mistress role was not such a strange cultural situation to her way of thinking. OR, she might have just wanted a better life than she had. My sister in law announced to her husband of 15 years that she wanted a divorce with exactly that reason. He was dumbfounded. Within 2 years she had gotten rid of him and married the guy she had been having an affair with for a long time...she simply got a "better offer" despite their two young daughters. That's pretty raw...

I call all this 'opportunistic."

[IdaBriggs]

131. I actually went and read the emails so I could answer the 'mistress didn't know'

stuff (which was not true). The wife found out five months before the scandal went public, and was under the impression the two were working on repairing the marriage, but there were difficulties (mainly having a third person *IN* their marriage without her consent).

I have no respect for people who do these things, but realistically, as long as they keep me out of their "affairs" (literally), I will generally keep my mouth shut about it. I once had a friend ask me to cover for her cheating on her husband, and at the time I was young enough to actually consider it; I was sympathetic to the fact she was unhappy in her marriage. After a reasonable amount of thought, I explained to her that I wasn't willing to do that, and felt she should let her husband know she wasn't happy. Eventually the man's wife found out, and she made sure the husband found out. My friend's marriage didn't last, but the other couple were able to repair theirs.

This is only news / discussion *for me* because of two things - the way he embarrassed his family showed him to be just SCUM in my eyes + them endangering the wife with STDs, and the big thing of him stealing from the public coffers to hide the affair.

I've said it before - this man needs to keep to a private life; in my opinion he is untrustworthy on so many levels that I think only the GOP would actually consider him a viable candidate because apparently *stealing* and *lying* and *cheating* is okay, even if you get caught (which requires a certain level of hubris/stupidity to boot).

He is going to have family drama at every major life event his children go through for the rest of his life. What an asshole. And her? Selfish awful woman - the absolute definition of the classic "evil step-mother" for the poor kids whose family has been devastated by her actions.

Yick.

[VanillaRhapsody]

158. I don't understand how its technically slut shaming when BOTH of them are being excoriated here

not just one of them...

Someone who knowingly sleeps with married people.....deserves some disrespect. No one has outright blamed her for starting the relationship.

[Agschmid]

194. Yes I think so.

And I do feel it is wrong to expose someone to STDs ... Etc. However I also feel we will never really know If they had an agreement or not, maybe they don't want to admit it? I don't know?

But yes I understand, just don't love the verbiage.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

84. The two sluts in the OP can legally marry

And I'm sure Mark Sanford will do everything in his power to make sure gays can't.

That's the hypocrisy here.

[Agschmid]

195. Ugh... Hate the word, sorry. N/t

[yellowcanine]

105. She didn't necessarily know he was married. Men do lie about that.

All of the time.

[IdaBriggs]

108. Please don't pretend she didn't know - he was a public figure (she knew his job)

with pictures of his wife and kids all over every piece of campaign literature, and them mentioned in his biography on the state's website.

From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Sanford

In emotional interviews with the Associated Press over two days, Sanford said he would die "knowing that I had met my soul mate."[44] Sanford also said that he "crossed the lines" with a handful of other women during 20 years of marriage, but not as far as he did with his mistress. "There were a handful of instances wherein I crossed the lines I shouldn't have crossed as a married man, but never crossed the ultimate line," he said.[44]

On June 25, La Nación, a Buenos Aires newspaper, identified the Argentine woman as María Belén Chapur, a 43-year-old divorced mother of two with a university degree in international relations who lives in the city of Buenos Aires.[45] The State earlier had published details of e-mails between Sanford and a woman only identified as "Maria."[46] Sanford met Chapur at a dance in Uruguay in 2001 and admitted there was a more intimate relationship with her starting in 2008.[47]

Sanford's wife had become aware of her husband's infidelities around five months before the scandal broke, and the two had sought marriage counseling.[43] She said that she had requested a trial separation about two weeks before his disappearance.[48]

Next, if you read the emails here: http://www.thestate.com/2009/06/25/839350/exclusive-read-e-mails-between.html, the woman says they can't be together because of "the situation" and he says

"The following weekend have been asked to spend it out in Aspen, Colorado with McCain — which has kicked up the whole VP talk all over again in the press back home. <snip> I remember Jenny (HIS WIFE), or someone close to me, <snip> There are but 50 governors in my country and outside of the top spot, this is as high as you can go in the area I have invested the last 15 years of my life — my getting here came as no small measure because I had that foundation of love and support so critical to getting up in the morning and feeling you could give and risk because you already had a full tank of love in the emotional bank account."

She replies later "I never gave you sexual details but now you don’t need to imagine you can close your eyes and just remember. I’ll do the same."

She knew. She just didn't care.

[yellowcanine]

109. Maybe not right away....and women do fall in love with married men.

Easy to pontificate about it but we all have our human frailties. Doesn't make her a hussy either.

[IdaBriggs]

110. I think she is a Bad Person and so is He.

HINT: Knew he was married, that his wife thought it was monogamous, slept with him anyway.

HINT ON HIM: Married, told his wife it was monogamous, slept with another woman anyway.

I don't give a crap about the teenage hormone justification. Keep other people out of your relationships unless you have consent.

Hussy. Slut. Home-wrecker. Asshole. Adulterous Scum. Untrustworthy Selfish Liars.

Think I'm just talking about *HER* - ? Wrong. These are people of Bad Character who have demonstrated that they will lie, cheat, cover up and steal for their own benefit with no concern for anyone else (including those they purport to love and cherish) because they really believe the world revolves around them.

What kind of moron thinks this man should be trusted with access to the public's purse strings after he used public money to hide his affair from his wife? Who doesn't think he can't be controlled by blackmail when he gets caught by someone in his *NEXT* indiscretion?

This is a no-brainer for me.

[yellowcanine]

113. Jesus probably said it best....

7 So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her. John 8,7

[IdaBriggs]

116. Wow - so not giving him a job after he stole from the public coffers

and betrayed people he had made promises to / publicly humiliated his family or "forgetting" that he is an untrustworthy, lying two-timing narcissist is the modern day equivalent of stoning?

Since I don't believe in "sin" (which makes me without it), give me a rock. I'll pass it to his wife or sons (who now have this as part of their legacy) with my blessings.

This man needs to be shamed and so does she. They do not belong on the public stage unless someone is throwing things at them.

The real problem? They have no shame.

[yellowcanine]

118. Wow. Straw man much?

The discussion is about calling the woman a "hussy." But you knew that.

[IdaBriggs]

122. No - the discussion is whether THEY deserve to be "slut shamed."

I vote yes. But you joined the discussion late, so perhaps you missed it.

ON EDIT: And don't "straw man" me, dude - you were the one who went all "sin/cast stones" on an argument whether this guy belongs in public office after committing this type of offense, so whatever.

[yellowcanine]

124. Wow. Testy much? You keep believing that and have a good day.

[IdaBriggs]

126. Actually, I am. You too.

Hey, I have a joke for you:

Jesus got in front of a crowd about to stone a woman for adultery. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone" he scolded. There was silence, then a woman wearing blue stepped forward, picked up a rock and threw it, and the rest of the crowd joined in. "MOTHER!" shouted Jesus. "I *hate* when you do that!"

[HiPointDem]

129. he's a public figure. of course she knew.

[MoonRiver]

23. I notice she finally plucked her eyebrows.

Definitely an improvement!

[redqueen]

25. What's the male equivalent of 'hussy'?

Just curious. I wonder, if there is one, why we never fucking hear it.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

37. Gigolo, himbo, boytoy, player, horndog....

....but mostly dirtbag, slimeball, scumbag, pig and most other terms that could just as easily be used for someone who committed a criminal act.

[LanternWaste]

41. First thing I noticed was that his proper name was used...

First thing I noticed was that his proper name was used in the headline, yet she was referenced merely by a gender-specific pejorative...

[redqueen]

48. Yep. Which pretty much speaks for itself,

despite all the lists that individuals swear they use, as if that even made some kind of dent in the widespread imbalance that you'd have to be a fool to ignore.

[snooper2]

42. In addition to everything listed in post 37, add "manwhore"

Are you suggesting that hussy be removed from the American lexicon?

[HappyMe]

43. You can call men sluts.

Language is bendy and fluid. Think outside the box.
I have also heard man-whore used.

[Whisp]

49. there is none

because men being unfaithful is, what they are supposed to do. What with all that red blood coursing through their veins and all. I think ours must be a different colour or something.

[Blue_Tires]

68. pimp....player

[Paul E Ester]

69. Stud..nt

[lumberjack_jeff]

77. Right. Because no one at DU ever criticizes Mark Sanford.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

81. Expect to get the "THIS IS NOT ABOUT MARK SANFORD" reply....

....and "IT'S NO SHOCK YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!!!".

Although this subthread has told me that apparently it's a man's right or nature or in their blood to cheat, which is why as you see here they suffer no consequences or whatever....

[Rex]

142. Geoffrey Chaucer

might know.

[undeterred]

27. Is she a private citizen?

[Demit]

30. Really could do without the word 'hussy'. Ditto 'slut'.

All the words that have no masculine equivalent when a man indulges in the same behavior. You can criticize these two till the cows come home, I don't care, but you're not helping women out any, using moralistic terms that focus only on the woman, thus perpetuating the double standard.

[HappyMe]

36. Actually I use the word 'slut' when it

applies to either sex. In this case, they are both sluts.

I have heard 'man-whore' applied to guys like this asshat.

[Demit]

47. The 'man-whore' bit just proves my point.

The fact that the 'man' part has to be added shows that it's really a term only meant for women. Sort of like 'woman doctor' was used, to differentiate from real doctors. Yeah, that's cute calling a man a slut, but I don't think it's going to catch on. Men's reputations aren't shamed by extensive sexual experience. They're enhanced.

[redqueen]

50. Thank you!

I wonder why so many people work so hard to minimize or ignore reality.

[HappyMe]

56. I don't care if it catches on or not.

To me a slut is a slut is a slut. Male or female.

Extensive sexual experience has nothing to do with it. Maybe you should let go of your preconceived notions. Just because a man or woman sleep around alot that doesn't make a person a slut.

He is a married man. He chose to step out on his wife. She knew he was married, chose to do it anyway. Both sluts.

C'mon, really? You can't think of a thing to call this guy?


edit to add -- I haven't heard anybody say 'woman doctor' for years and years. It's 2013 where I am.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

39. Bless their hearts

Hopefully they can engage in their love, away from political office, where Mr Sanford will impose his "morality" on others.

[AngryAmish]

64. She looks like an ex-girlfriend of mine

I did a triple take.

[Blue_Tires]

71. The Dems should plant John Edwards in the race just to troll SC

I'll love the pretzel logic from voters trying to explain why they'll vote overwhelmingly for one and not the other...

Sadly it makes too much sense, so they'll never do it...

[HappyMe]

74. That's brilliant!

[uponit7771]

75. +1

[IdaBriggs]

82. Wow. You are an Evil Genius.

All hail!!!

[SoCalDem]

146. Wrong Carolina

[Blue_Tires]

147. I was thinking Edwards still owned or rented something in SC

Even if he doesn't, the residency requirement will be easy to meet...

[RedstDem]

73. why dont you edit the word "hussy" out of your post

seems unnecessarily degrading.....

[Sunlei]

78. Its sad to see how embarrassed his kids are

[otohara]

79. What's With Calling Her Names?

thanks for not calling her a slut at least.

What about Sanford, why no name calling?

[Lint Head]

83. I thought Elizabeth Hussey was great in Romeo and Juliet.

[Marrah_G]

89. I'm hoping you will edit the subject line

Because he has a name, she is reduced to just an insulting description.

[datasuspect]

92. HEAVENS TO BETSY!!!!111 OUTRAGE!!!!!!11111

[LittleBlue]

94. So what?

Not a fan of Sanford, but let's move beyond this stuff. Aren't we past the era where two consenting adults are shamed for a relationship?

Yes, she's the mistress. So what? It's not like marriage is sacred.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

97. Tsk! Tsk! Fetch the smelling salts!!

[OldDem2012]

101. With so many newsworthy stories, I'm trashing this one. nt.

[wilt the stilt]

102. Love happens

I once fell for a girl who was separated from her husband. We dated and within 6 weeks we really fell hard. She ended up going back to her husband. I did call her 15 years later and that spark was still there and she had divorced her husband and remarried. She ended up getting divorced a second time but if I called her today I know it would be the same. Neither of us ever got each other completely out of our system. Don't ask me why and I know it makes no sense.

Sometimes love just happens and sometimes it spin out of control before you know it. Mark is certainly not perfect and none of us know what he told Marie about his marital status.

Love is a strange thing and pretty much uncontrollable. One thing I can tell you from this picture. This women is lovestruck by Mark and I wish them the bast.

[CTyankee]

145. I thinkyou can be "in love" and still not humiliate your wife in the way he did.

He is NOT excused from committing deliberate cruelty on the mother of his children. He should have gone to his wife and told her privately that he needed a divorce because he no longer felt he was in a loving marriage and he wanted a loving marriage. Just man up! Is that so difficult? Even if it is, why couldn't he manage to summon up that amount of courage?

I think many of us have had disastrous love affairs but that does not give us license to humiliate your spouse publicly...

[Dreamer Tatum]

103. Isn't going how you thought it would, huh?

[yellowcanine]

104. Unless you have some evidence of promiscuity "hussy" is out of line.

And he may have told her he was not married or that he was divorced/separated. Happens a lot.

[MFM008]

140. and its still wrong

morally wrong, he had a responsibility to the voters,and his family. I'm not the Pope but come onnnnn.

[yellowcanine]

185. Am I missing something here? The OP seems to be more negative about HER than HIM.

I think that is the point many are trying to make here. No one is defending Sanford. We just are objecting to characterizing her as a "hussy" without knowing anything about her other than the fact that she fell for a married man.

[siligut]

106. She looks like him

Am I just seeing things? I wonder if this is one of those self-love cases, where an individual sees their self in their mate and that is where the attraction centered.

[wilt the stilt]

117. no you are seeing things

he is so so and she is really god looking.

[JI7]

150. she is far better looking than he is

[LynnTTT]

107. Nothing till he's elected

Basically, he never mentioned her name and he never had her at his side till he won the GOP slot. Now he brings her out.

Picture this: Jenny Sanford was actually the governor. She met a sexy polo player in Argentina and fell madly in love. Jenny kept making trips to see him (picture Fabio on romance novels) but still and stayed with poor clueless Mark and their kids.
Then she gets caught and is forced to resign, leave the house and lets Mark have the kids, etc.
Now Jenny asks for your forgiveness and wants back into government ....
Think she'd have won? Didn't think so.

[Cleita]

112. She seems like an attractive woman. What the H would she want with him?n/t

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

120. Power is a great aphrodisiac.

He had power, and threw it all away for her, which is kind of endearing, I guess. Now the voters seem poised to hand it back because they are, to be polite, fucking idiots.

[dsc]

119. I can understand the upset with the word hussy

and even have sympathy for the idea that the woman really shouldn't be talked about at all, but the notion that Sanford shouldn't be criticized for his conduct is absurd. He is a 'family values' Republican who voted to Impeach Clinton, voted for DOMA, and finds marriage equality immoral. The fact he treated both his wedding vows and his oath of office as if it were a pile of dog shit is very relevant to his fitness as a public servant, or actually his lack thereof.

[IdaBriggs]

123. Democrats love to shoot ourselves in the foot.

People are actually *defending* this piece of shit despite everything you said because they don't like his partner in crime (literally, stealing from the state's coffers) to be called "a hussy" --



Personally, its a good thing I'm not in charge of propaganda, because I'd be using a lot worse words for the both of them.

[Blue_In_AK]

125. I don't believe she deserves the name-calling.

This isn't the first time that someone has fallen in love with someone other than his or her spouse.

[no_hypocrisy]

128. Not as bad as this:

Donald Trump calling a press conference with Marla Maples, his mistress, a little after his divorce from his ex-wife, Ivana, to announce that Marla was pregnant with his child. He even put his hand on her womb "protectively". To Trump, it was all respectable.

[IdaBriggs]

132. I remember that one - shock of ages when he dumped her for the next one.

Wait a minute - NOT.

Same type of scum. Sigh.

[Cleita]

133. None had less class than those two back in the day.

Of course, Donald still has no class.

[Warpy]

134. Republican adultery is holy!

They abandon the wife and kiddies and marry the homewrecker and deodorize themselves and the new trophy all at the same time!

It's all the wife's fault for getting shabby from childbirth or knowing him just a little too well!

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

151. It's almost a sacrament for them.

"Just don't get caught....aw, fuck it....so what if you do?"

[bravenak]

137. Why do they look like they think they just did something cute?

I'm sorry but they should not be running around in public together until they get married. Why? Because they should feel ashamed of themselves. But I guess cheaters always prosper! I love family values republicans.

[BainsBane]

138. "hussy"?

Really? He's the one who behaved badly.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

149. At some point, and I don't know if he concealed his marriage from her....

....she learned that there was a wife and children involved who were being hurt, and decided she simply did not give a fuck.

She has no obligation to the other woman or the kids, but it still says a bit about her. Just a bit. And they both clearly still love the spotlight. And if she walks arm in arm with him when he god forbid gets elected to Congress and while he pontificates about how other need to live their lives, she will be another reminder of Repiglican family values, like Newt and Calista Gingrich, etc...

[JI7]

152. the Children would be hurt more by staying with their mom just because it was seen

as the right thing to do , regardless of him loving someone else. the family would be miserable.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

153. But he essentially was going to try to stay with the mother while eating his cake too

There are legal ways to end a marriage before you go dipping your wick elsewhere.

Divorce hurts children too, but a lot less than your father going on TV proudly announcing he's in love with another woman, and he abandoned his duties while doing it.

[JI7]

154. i agree that he should have quietly divorced his wife

but he had ambitions for higher office so he got selfish.

i also have a feeling that him and his wife hadn't had an intimate relationship for some time. she didn't seem to broken up over what he did. was more angry at him not being open and lying. but she would have been just fine if he told her he wanted a divorce because he was in love with someone else.

[JI7]

148. i think he did the right thing in being with the person he loves and wants

but does he support the right of others to do the same ?

and why attack her ?

[CTyankee]

164. I agree with you that she is somewhat less guilty than he is.

But women are moral agents and we can't just let her off the hook and give him all the blame, even as we can fault him for not at least coming clean with his wife privately and getting things settled without undue publicity that hurt her and their children.

The "other woman" here has a moral responsibility of her own, and in her own right, to sort out her own actions. To me, it is not an attack as much as a question about moral responsibility of humans for other humans. Is that not OK?

[JI7]

169. i just don't think it matters much at this point, it's not our business

if she was like Rielle Hunter writing a book bashing the wife of the person she is with or doing other crap in public it would be one thing.

but the whole thing is over now. they are together and will be a family. the sons have accepted it and are adjusting to that life.

[CTyankee]

177. But Sanford brought the whole thing up by brandishing her as a trophy at the

press conference, so people do comment on that.

I don't know if his kids are accepting it. And neither do you. This guy publicly humiliated their mother. One day they will learn that, if they don't know it already. And at the time they saw their mother and themselves get moved out of their house. All because of his actions. He could have avoided doing this as brutally as he did to them. He could have been honest with himself and with his wife and just gone to her and said "I need a divorce. I have fallen in love with another woman." They could have worked out something that saved face for her and assigned the responsibility to where it belonged.

MAN UP is my message here...

[JI7]

180. he wasn't brandishing her, she is engaged to him, usually the significant others of

politicians are by their side during a political victory(which hopefully will end for him here).

yeah, we don't know everything that is going on . but what is us constantly going after him for it going to do for them ?it's not like we really care . at least i don't .

you think republicans cared with their "he cheated on his wife" crap ?

there is so much to go after him. i would go after him for not supporting the right of other people to marry who they want as he did.

[CTyankee]

182. Politically, I totally agree with you. But I still take exception to his brandishing her.

She is not the young girl your son brings home in his 20s to introduce to the family, is she? And he ain't the kid you had who cheated on his wife and betrayed your grandkids, is he? So stop with the comparisons.

This is a finger in the eye of lots of women voters. Perhaps you don't agree with that but I will bet you it is there.

[BainsBane]

175. I'll worry about her behavior

If she decides to run for office. In the meantime, I could care less.

[KittyWampus]

171. You think spending public money on his get aways & taking time off while his staff didn't know wher

Last edited Wed Apr 3, 2013, 10:22 PM - Edit history (1)

where he was equals "the right thing"? Really?

[JI7]

174. what if he was doing it with his wife ?

[CTyankee]

179. perhaps you need to edit your post for spelling...just a "word to the wise" here...

[CTyankee]

178. Jeez...are you OK?

[Warren DeMontague]

188. It's the pollen.

[Blasphemer]

183. They're getting married. At the end of the day, he's no different than Newt, St. Ronnie, etc.

The whole disappearance was bizarre but he fell in love with another woman (it was clearly love from the details presented when the story broke), they've been together awhile and are getting married. This has become a non-scandal scandal.

[CTyankee]

184. No, if it were just that I would agree. But he publicly humiliated his wife.

A cruel and unnecessary act on his part. If he had just come clean with her after he "fell in love" it would have been one thing. But he made it into the love story of the century and revealing to the world what his wife didn't know he was going to do. What a total shit he was! No way can you whitewash that!

[MADem]

186. She looks enough like the ex-wife to be her little sister.

He's not poor, but the ex was the one with the cash. He's going to have to live that cheapass "frugal lifestyle" he imposed on Wife Number One.

I wonder if Number Two will tire of his cheapass ways?

[CTyankee]

190. I was wondering the same thing. Jenny had the money. I guess he got it by the special

favors he gave to the fat cats when he became Governor...

[MADem]

192. His people are not "poor"--but her people had the powerhouse dough.

She's related to the Skakels, and they aren't poor either.

That beach house she retreated to after the Appalachian Trail business? Hers. Not his.

A review of available public records by The Greenville News suggests a far different portrait. The only real property listed in just his name in the Lowcountry is a mobile home used for storage. His wife is listed as the owner of the family's multimillion-dollar Sullivan's Island home, and he shares an interest in the plantation and other Beaufort County land with family members.

And the property owned by his wife, the wealthy Chicago-born heiress of the Skilsaw Inc. fortune, is likely to leave when the couple's divorce is final.

Read more here: http://www.thestate.com/2010/01/25/1126241/sanford-wealth-tied-to-family.html#storylink=cpy

He needs to be in government--all he knows is skimming!

[Jack Sprat]

187. I'm jealous of the worthless POS. nt

[rucky]

197. She didn't take a vow.

It's all on Mark.

[curlyred]

201. Not exactly. She had her lying, cheating rebuke boyfriend with her.