Gays hate apple pie! A Kansas congressman writes the dumbest anti-gay marriage op-ed ever

[DonViejo]

Last edited Mon Apr 1, 2013, 06:13 PM - Edit history (2)

A Kansas congressman writes the dumbest anti-gay marriage op-ed ever. We don't think it's an April Fool's joke
BY MARY ELIZABETH WILLIAMS

Please, please say that this was your version of an April Fool’s day gag, Tim Huelskamp. Please say this was your Onion-like parody of the absurd, hyperbolic bluster which makes the opponents of marriage equality seem so dumb and silly. Because if it wasn’t, well, it doesn’t really matter. I’m still going to laugh at you anyway.

In a highly unambivalent piece in Monday’s Washington Times – your first clue that this should be treated entirely as a gag – the Republican Kansas representative takes on “The war on marriage and motherhood” because “Redefining matrimony would destroy the family.” Your second clue that he has got to be kidding is the accompanying illustration of a man and a woman; their genitals obscured by the words “What. Ever” as a rainbow gavel-wielding ENEMY OF FREEDOM.

And then there’s the content of the op-ed itself. There’s the whipped up terror of states “having homosexual marriage imposed upon them” by “activist judges.” There’s the classic citing of “overwhelming social science evidence to corroborate the benefits of raising children in homes with both a mom and a dad” – with no citation or proof. Maybe that’s because the American Academy of Pediatrics just two weeks ago affirmed its support, based on “extensive research,” for couples “regardless of sexual orientation.” Yet Huelskamp, who last year moved to bar gay marriages on Defense Department property, presses on, citing “biology, nature and common sense.”

-snip-

But Huelskamp tips his hand in his clever pastiche of conservative paranoia is his over-the-top assertion that the gay agenda has “done irreparable harm to yet another pillar of the American paradigm for our patriotic, wholesome culture — ‘God, the flag, mom and apple pie,’” because “The First Lady’s ‘Let’s Move!’ initiative and New York City Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s sugary-drink ban suggest the days of consuming apple pie might well be numbered.” That’s right. The gays aren’t just coming for your moms and your marriages, America. They’re coming for your dessert.

more
http://www.salon.com/2013/04/01/gays_hate_apple_pie/

Link to the Congreeman's Op-Ed:

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/apr/1/the-war-on-marriage-and-motherhood/

[xchrom]

1. If Stoopid burns - then this man is a bonfire. Nt

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Heck, you can see the flames from space.

[TreasonousBastard]

3. Everyone's missing the point about these guys...

it's not motherhood that's superfluous. That would assume all gay marriages would be with men.

What really gets them is lesbian marriages and the spectre of frozen sperm making men largely irrelevant except as breeding stock a la the Amazons of myth.

Puts the fear of God in them, it does.

[Starry Messenger]

4. If you want to see the roots of a lot of this crazy shit, Google Henry Makow

Warning, he is also a massive antisemite which is why I'm not linking to him. Basically these guys think that any subversion of the man woman unit is a Communist plot to erode social norms and make people easy to control by the government.

[starroute]

15. The whole "traditional values" thing is tied in with anti-Communism

You look back to the 1950s, and you see a fear that allowing people to think for themselves would make them unable to resist criticisms of capitalism. And the antidote was taken to be a strong reaffirmation of traditional religion, traditional family structures, and "rugged individualism."

That's where the whole gun nut thing really comes from. It's not about resisting a tyrannical government -- it's about teaching people that when the chips are down they can only depend on themselves (and their guns) so that they won't be lured by socialist notions of solidarity.

It's also why conservatives hate public transportation and would rather keep as many cars as possible on the road. Anything to keep people from thinking collective solutions to problems might be a good thing.

I can't say I even see the logic holding the whole complex together -- unless it's rooted in some kind of dream of 19th century frontier life that never actually existed. But it's been going strong for the last 60 years and shows no sign of stopping.

[Starry Messenger]

18. That's true.

I thought about that after I posted yesterday, it goes back much earlier. I think you are correct about it being rooted in the dream of 19th century life, whether frontier or yeoman farmer.

The reactionary stance this produces is just mind-blowing to me. Republicans are just the tip of the iceberg of some crazy shit in this country.

[MisterP]

23. they even accused UFOs of being full of Satanic race-mixing pro-dancing Commie Grays

http://blogs.laweekly.com/arts/2010/11/men_in_the_flying_saucers_iden.php

[Maven]

5. I like blackberry pie, myself.

[progressoid]

6. I can't get the link to the op ed to work...

[DonViejo]

7. I just tried the link...

worked okay for me but, here it is again

http://www.washingtontimes.com/multimedia/image/b1-huelskamp-marriage-words-ahjpg/

[progressoid]

9. Ok, that's weird.

This one works for me:
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/apr/1/the-war-on-marriage-and-motherhood/

Regardless, I shouldn't have read it. Now I have the brain hurt.


The other link takes me to this graphic.

[DonViejo]

12. Wow. Weird is right....

I replaced the link in the OP with the one you provided. Thanks!

[AlbertCat]

19. Huh....

What do the other pieces of paper say? Why are there spent nails on the floor. How many times did the "judge" have to pound a nail into genitalia before he got it "right"? Who's gonna clean up the mess he made? What does this even mean? I think even gays are not all "what ever" about which genitalia their partner has.

[gvstn]

8. Try this link

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/apr/1/the-war-on-marriage-and-motherhood/

[progressoid]

10. Thanks,

Kind of wish I hadn't read it. Moran.

[Initech]

11. Why do these dumbasses pine for this weird Honeymooners Americana that never existed?

Is it nostalgia? Something else?

[Jim Lane]

13. I'll take all the apple pie that the LGBTQ people don't want. (n/t)

[yewberry]

14. My mom's a lesbian (ok, both of them are) and they like apple pie.

They're from New England, though, so they like it with sharp cheddar cheese melted on it. That must be the un-American part.

[dionysus]

16. have them try a thin slice of provolone melted on it next time.... dee-lish....

[SwankyXomb]

20. They can have my apple pie.

I can't stand the stuff.

[LeftishBrit]

17. 'having homosexual marriage imposed upon them” by “activist judges.”'

So activist judges are going to march around forcing people to marry someone of the same sex? Who knew?

[justiceischeap]

21. I can only imagine some African-Americans old enough to remember life prior to

Loving V. Virginia must be seeing some serious parallels in these arguments.

I recently had to give up apple pie because of my cholesterol but prior to that it was never something as a lesbian I'd turn down. As a lesbian I could also make a really crass pie joke right about now but I'll refrain.

[maindawg]

22. small town newspapers

are hot beds for ignorant view points like this. The dying industry relies on the few people left who dont get all their news from fox. They are just feeding the starving beast that is right wingnut political machine. I have the chance to read these papers at various stops in my day. I am never disappointed when I open the op-ed page to see the latest attempt to rationalize the hate , fear and general ignorance they promote.

They are out of ideas, they cannot justify their prejudice any longer. They are comical in their presentations. We are right, we have always been right. We were right in 1965 when we fought segregation. we were right when we protested the wars. We are right now , history will be on our side.

[desertdevil]

24. Teh gays

would insist it be served ala mode with french vanilla ice cream. Maybe thats what drives the Cons nuts!

[etherealtruth]

25. Can anyone truly be this stupid?

seriously ... how does one function with this limited capacity to reason ...?

[Andy Stanton]

26. Yes, he's an idiot

Compared to the population as a whole.

But he's in the middle of the pack compared to other Republicans.