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IronLionZion

(45,256 posts)
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:34 AM Aug 2020

Team Biden wishes it had known something was slightly wrong with every woman

Team Biden wishes it had known something was slightly wrong with every woman before promising a female VP

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2020/08/11/team-biden-wishes-it-had-known-something-was-slightly-wrong-with-every-woman-before-promising-female-vp/



What a mess! With the deadline to select a vice president approaching, the members of Team Biden wish someone had told them before this all started that every high-profile woman they would consider for the vice presidency would turn out on further inspection to be just slightly wrong — too ambitious, or too self-effacing, or too prepared, or polarizing in some other, completely unexpected way. She might want to be president herself when this was over, which historically would be an anomaly for vice presidents, and probably ought to be disqualifying. Did these vying, sparring, lobbying women who were putting their names out there through such never-before-attempted means as meetings, statements and fundraising appearances not realize that they were in contention for the vice presidency, a sacred office not designed for grasping or distracting personalities?

What Team Biden needs is a vice president who can be a good team player, a supportive No. 2, in the mold of previous vice presidents! Perhaps someone like the historically self-effacing Theodore Roosevelt. It was said of him that he wanted to be “the corpse at every funeral and the bride at every wedding” because he was so notably demure. When I think of “good team player who shares the limelight well,” no name springs to mind faster than Teddy Roosevelt — except, possibly, Vice President Thomas Jefferson, a simple, unproblematic farmer.

That is all that this team is trying to find: a Lady Vice President who can live up to the role created by John Adams centuries ago, and step into the shoes of that smooth, popular man who famously got along with everybody. We just need a woman who can say of herself, as Adams did, “I am obnoxious, suspected, and unpopular" — whoops, sorry, wrong quote! It is indeed something Adams said, but does not express the sentiment of what we’re looking for very well. The point is, we just need someone with that undefinable thingness that John Adams had but these ladies all lack.

Where is the Richard Nixon this nation deserves, someone popular and easygoing with no political baggage or ambitions of her own?

If only these women could take a page from the book of Aaron Burr! That is all we really need: a vice presidentess as refreshingly unambitious as Burr surely must have been before he literally murdered a guy and then, it looks like, tried to make himself emperor of Mexico? Where will we find a vice president like John C. Calhoun, about whom there is probably nothing bad to say, or Andrew Johnson, a man so superb that when he was president he helped start our fun, wholesome tradition of impeachment-but-not-removal!


Calm down, this is satire.
26 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Team Biden wishes it had known something was slightly wrong with every woman (Original Post) IronLionZion Aug 2020 OP
Alexandra Petri nails it again! The Velveteen Ocelot Aug 2020 #1
She is a sublime genius. nt Tommy_Carcetti Aug 2020 #2
And excellent satire it is. Very enjoyable read and thanks for posting..n/t monmouth4 Aug 2020 #3
That was satire? Hmm, who coulda known. ;) n/t getagrip_already Aug 2020 #12
You. Of course. The headline's a kinda huge clue. Hortensis Aug 2020 #19
At least our side doesn't have Sarah Palin IronLionZion Aug 2020 #4
"At least"? None of them would hire Palin to run a copier. :) Hortensis Aug 2020 #20
Or Ms. Lindsey of South Carolina. usaf-vet Aug 2020 #22
I hope Lindsey gets to spend more time with his family this November IronLionZion Aug 2020 #25
Agreed! usaf-vet Aug 2020 #26
How Could They Have Known, Sir The Magistrate Aug 2020 #5
I heard some of them were ambitious gratuitous Aug 2020 #6
I thought it was going to be that every woman wryter2000 Aug 2020 #7
Every woman seems to be missing that certain something... IronLionZion Aug 2020 #11
I used to work in a bank..... LakeArenal Aug 2020 #8
If Only We could Find a Female Dan Quayle for Spelling Challenges Stallion Aug 2020 #9
Or the straight as an arrow ethical thucythucy Aug 2020 #10
I love Petri's articles for the Post. I can usually count on her for a laugh. Lonestarblue Aug 2020 #13
Technically, we could opine that Pence is the first "female" VP... Wounded Bear Aug 2020 #14
+1 bluescribbler Aug 2020 #21
And you wouldn't be far from the truth. usaf-vet Aug 2020 #23
Knew it had to be satire with the header, or you was asking for it! Brainfodder Aug 2020 #15
I had to put on my flame-proof suit just in case IronLionZion Aug 2020 #16
Satire but sadly rings true. Pepsidog Aug 2020 #17
satire llashram Aug 2020 #18
I am voting for Biden and WHO EVER HE CHOOSES for one simple reason. usaf-vet Aug 2020 #24

The Magistrate

(95,237 posts)
5. How Could They Have Known, Sir
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 11:45 AM
Aug 2020

If only there was a gal with a penis prominent in politics they could choose....

LakeArenal

(28,713 posts)
8. I used to work in a bank.....
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 12:12 PM
Aug 2020

The longest employed woman had been working there for decades and was a cashier. I asked once why, while she was a beloved and trusted employee, she was not a V.P. or at least an assistant V.P., she replied. “I don’t have enough knees!?”

I asked “Knees?”

She : Yes. I have a right knee and a left knee. But I don’t have a ‘weinie’.

Of course, she meant penis. Sexism is as ancient as racism.

Stallion

(6,473 posts)
9. If Only We could Find a Female Dan Quayle for Spelling Challenges
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 12:34 PM
Aug 2020

Senator I knew the Virgin Mary, the Virgin Mary was a Friend of mine, Senator you are no Virgin Mary

thucythucy

(7,985 posts)
10. Or the straight as an arrow ethical
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 01:50 PM
Aug 2020

standards of Spiro Agnew. Not to mention Agnew's facility with alliteration.

Lonestarblue

(9,878 posts)
13. I love Petri's articles for the Post. I can usually count on her for a laugh.
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 01:59 PM
Aug 2020

But I sure am tired of all the battering of women in politics, and it will only get worse as Republicans try to destroy the reputation of whomever is chosen. It’s sad that when a woman speaks up, she is viewed as overly ambitious (and a bitch), but when a man speaks up, he is viewed as a promising leader. I know that people here at DU do not believe that, but far too many people still do.

Wounded Bear

(58,437 posts)
14. Technically, we could opine that Pence is the first "female" VP...
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 02:00 PM
Aug 2020

he has obviously received the Stepford conditioning Repubs seem to require.

usaf-vet

(6,094 posts)
24. I am voting for Biden and WHO EVER HE CHOOSES for one simple reason.
Tue Aug 11, 2020, 02:50 PM
Aug 2020

Better than what we have now by a long long shot.

He has great options!

But I would still vote for them if the VP had a Ph.D. in political science. At least she would know how the government is SUPPOSE TO RUN. And not work to tear it down.

Vote BLUE NO Matter WHO.

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