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Celerity

(42,674 posts)
Wed Jul 29, 2020, 02:19 AM Jul 2020

Cognitive Dissonance. We found the IQ test Trump took that proves he is a genius. Take it and see if

you pass!

https://thebanter.substack.com/p/cognitive-dissonance



Recently, Donald Trump took a cognitive test and apparently came out with flying colors. While we know virtually nothing about the content of the test, how much time the President was given to take it, who might have helped him cheat, or the President’s final score, we do know that Donald J. Trump has a huge brain. It is that same huge brain that can easily navigate its way through events and circumstances that would daunt most Nobel Prize laureates. In this world, intelligence goes far beyond what you know. Intelligence includes what you know you don’t need to know, what you can fake knowing, what you can deny knowing, and what—whether true or false—you can convince others to believe. In those terms, Donald Trump’s intelligence is the bigliest in human history, and by a lot. Fortunately, a friend of ours hacked the less than perfectly secure White House server, found the test and has agreed to share it. We think you’ll concur it was the hardest exam ever given, that only one person on earth or the other planets could have passed it, and in no way whatsoever was it doctored to avoid the President’s cognitive deficiencies.



1. If you are a 45-year-old developer and flat broke, your next step is to:

a) Sell your soul to Russian oligarchs.

b) Borrow laundered money from Deutsche Bank.

c) Slap your name on a crappy cologne.

d) All of the above.


2. How many members of a condo board do you have to bribe?

a) Half the total plus one.

b) The black ones.

c) The ones with kids.

d) Michael Cohen used to handle that.


3. What is the one thing in life you just can’t have?

a) Divorces

b) Foreclosures

c) Bankruptcies

d) Witnesses


4. If you have a chance to assault two equally hot women, you should:

a) Go for the younger one.

b) Go for the poorer one.

c) Go for the unarmed one.

d) Make your move and deny, deny, deny.


5. How many sides in a triangle?

a) One

b) Two

c) Three

d) Four


6. If you are $100 million in the red on a construction project, you should:

a) Stiff the subcontractors, declare bankruptcy, and reopen under a new corporate entity.

b) Renegotiate mortgages with multiple banks.

c) Take out a mob loan against future services rendered.

d) Run for President.


7. How do you count the attendance at a presidential inauguration?

a) Take an aerial photo and estimate using artificial intelligence.

b) With your finger.

c) Take CNN count and multiply by two.

d) Take Obama total and multiply by three.


8. A valid reason for pardoning someone is:

a) They are talking to DOJ Southern District of New York.

b) They know where the bodies are buried.

c) They have the golden shower photos.

d) Mr. Putin told me to do it.

e) All of the above.


9. If you are caught red handed extorting Ukraine, you should:

a) Deny, deny, deny

b) Blackball Alexander Vindman

c) Blackball Marie Yovanovitch

d) Call Rudy

e) All of the above


10. When we say someone is “going to go through some things,” we are saying:

a) She’s going to lose her job.

b) She’s going to receive numerous death threats from QAnon followers.

c) She’s going to lose her security clearance.

d) We’re going to spread rumors she’s communist, transgender, and a spy and see what sticks.

e) All of the above.


11. How many commandments in the Ten Commandments?.................................

snip
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