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Sun Jun 28, 2020, 02:45 PM

DJT has cost me 75% of my "friends".

At most I had 42 "friends" on Facebook and am down the 9 I started with years ago.

DJT gave people the courage to out themselves instead of keeping that putrid crap locked up in their heads. One by one I've either cut them off or got myself unfriended. These aren't really people I spend much time with... and recently, they've shown me why.

I've come to a new understanding over the last few months. It isn't enough for me not to be a racist. It is more than just living my life supportive of diversity and not tolerating racism in my presence. It is more than choosing to vote for like minded people and actively supporting rights of people in my own community. Sure that's something, but it isn't enough.

The only way this ever gets solved is if people like me are anti-racist. It is a war, within and without. It is long past due. I'm late. I had something to learn yet. No doubt there is more learning to come. I guess, in a bizarre way, I can thank DJT for that.










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Reply DJT has cost me 75% of my "friends". (Original post)
KentuckyWoman Jun 28 OP
Nevilledog Jun 28 #1
SouthernIrish Jun 28 #2
Ferrets are Cool Jun 28 #3
True Blue American Jun 28 #4
Ferrets are Cool Jun 28 #7
True Blue American Jun 28 #11
smirkymonkey Jun 28 #5
lunasun Jun 28 #6
brooklynite Jun 28 #8
KentuckyWoman Jun 28 #12
Richard58 Jun 30 #43
madeup64 Jul 2 #44
no_hypocrisy Jun 28 #14
stopdiggin Jun 28 #18
Towlie Jun 28 #9
CrispyQ Jun 28 #10
kimbutgar Jun 28 #17
BamaRefugee Jun 28 #19
morillon Jun 28 #13
Chainfire Jun 28 #15
kimbutgar Jun 28 #16
Dan Jun 29 #41
kimbutgar Jun 29 #42
AlexSFCA Jun 28 #20
Baitball Blogger Jun 28 #21
donco Jun 28 #22
KentuckyWoman Jun 28 #34
dalton99a Jun 28 #23
albacore Jun 28 #24
LeftInTX Jun 28 #31
IronLionZion Jun 28 #25
Mr.Bill Jun 28 #26
yaesu Jun 28 #27
Hip2bSquare Jun 28 #28
NRaleighLiberal Jun 28 #29
Ponietz Jun 28 #30
oldsoftie Jun 28 #32
RandiFan1290 Jul 2 #45
oldsoftie Jul 2 #46
Grins Jun 28 #33
keithbvadu2 Jun 29 #35
fescuerescue Jun 29 #36
oldsoftie Jul 2 #47
roamer65 Jun 29 #37
Flaleftist Jun 29 #38
Wounded Bear Jun 29 #39
hunter Jun 29 #40
oldsoftie Jul 2 #48
Ilsa Jul 2 #49
Kashkakat v.2.0 Jul 2 #50

Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 02:48 PM

1. Yup

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 02:49 PM

2. Imho

You have lost nothing. Life is to short to surround yourself with people that you don't have common interests and opinions with. I can be cordial, but I won't have them in my life.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 02:51 PM

3. I have blocked quite a few myself.

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Response to Ferrets are Cool (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 02:56 PM

4. I try not to

Do Facebook or Twitter but the divide has cost me friends in the last few years.

Those in the family I just do not discuss. But it is really taking a toll on everyone. I am so depressed. Each day seems worse. Is there no end?

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Response to True Blue American (Reply #4)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:01 PM

7. The only reason I am on there is because of my business.

It is a near necessity for me to be on there as much as I hate it.

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Response to Ferrets are Cool (Reply #7)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:06 PM

11. I understand that.

I was knocked off but when I got my new phone suddenly I was on..

Looks as if losing so many sponsors made them take a look at the hate.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 02:58 PM

5. Good for you, KentuckyWoman!

You don't need people like that in your life. None of us do. We are all better off without them. Their hatred is toxic and you should look at this like a cleansing.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:00 PM

6. Thank you

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:02 PM

8. Why were they your friends in the first place?

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Response to brooklynite (Reply #8)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:07 PM

12. I ask myself the same question

Was I blind?
Should I have seen?
Did they fool me?
Was it just this sort of thing didn't come up until now?

None of them were what I'd consider friends in real life. Acquaintances. Even so, I accepted the friend requests - so it's on me.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Reply #12)

Tue Jun 30, 2020, 09:56 PM

43. No you weren't "blind". They just took their masks off!

Since Trump took office I have unfriended a dozen people who were my Facebook friends. Most were acquaintances or coworkers. I had thought they were good, decent people. But once Trump got elected I started seeing some really nasty Facebook memes coming from their pages. It really appalled me! I kept seeing posts that were virulently anti-gay, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim and anti-BLM. They started showing their true colors and didn't feel the need to hide their abhorrent opinions anymore. I argued with many of them and called out their BS. A couple unfriended me saying I was just a "socialist dupe" and "anti-White" and "anti-American". The rest I unfriended on my own. I told most of them why I was unfriending them. I told them they weren't the good people I thought they were and have given in to hate and bigotry. Most didn't respond but some said, "Goodbye and good riddance." I don't need people like that in my life and you don't either.
Frankly I am proud that you did what you did. It is amazing how people can fool you and pretend to be someone they are not until they feel "safe" to say how they really feel. Trump gave my ex-friends that permission. I have found out the hard way that there are a lot of nasty, hate-filled people out there and I refuse to be friends with bigots.

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Response to Richard58 (Reply #43)

Thu Jul 2, 2020, 01:56 AM

44. Agreed

They said finally I can be free and the racist crap spewed forth.

Although I have a childhood friend's stepdad who is a Trumper till death and I keep him on my FB only to mock him. I'm so surprised he hasn't unfriended me after the last two - three years. Two days ago was the first time in a few months I've been on and commented on his posts and probably one of my favorites. He posts a stupid meme suggesting that the lower coronavirus deaths in other countries are somehow a conspiracy against the United States. "My response was no those countries just have competent leadership." Then I go to a new paragraph and then I say "Actually you're right it's a hoax they're really angry that he actually made Mexico pay for the wall." I never read his responses to anything I post either.

😁

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Response to brooklynite (Reply #8)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:20 PM

14. A good question

I have friends on FB who are 180 degrees away from my politics. They adore and worship Trump.

They are deluded but not evil. They do have good hearts.

We have an understanding: we don't personally attack each other or posts by each other. They aren't crazy MAGAts. One of my friends was in my class for first grade. We agree on Viking anthropology. I'm not giving him up and he calls me a "treasure."

Anyone who wants to unfriend me is welcome.

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Response to brooklynite (Reply #8)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:39 PM

18. the FB designation of "friend"

means something entirely different than any recognizable social definition (by design) .. and the social "science" (or relationships) that arise from that are also completely different (again by design). (thank you, Mark.)

One can deliberately winnow out all but but "intimate" and true social friends .. but only by swimming against the tide. And many .. never contemplated "FB friend" as anything approaching that type of designation .. and thus never felt the need to make that effort. (and then there were always the nuts that were trying to amass as many friends as possible. like it was some kind of contest ...)

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:04 PM

9. Your "friends" should have listened to Neil Diamond.

Kentucky woman
If she get to know you
She goin' to own you
Kentucky woman

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:05 PM

10. Most of my friends were progressive/liberal to start with.

Then I started freelancing and friended a woman I met at a business group I was involved in. When she got into dogs and started a dog rescue, I was happy to help support that, too. Then she went through some major changes in her life, health, divorce, new marriage, & somewhere in that journey got religion and went right wing. I turned off notifications of her personal page cuz I got tired of right wing and religious memes, but I still supported her dog rescue. Then when the virus hit, I just decided, fuck it. I'm done with people who still support the Con. I found another dog rescue, one with progressive values, and support them now. There was a time when political differences were just a difference of opinion, but not any more. It's a world view. You agree we are all one and equal or you don't.

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Response to CrispyQ (Reply #10)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:33 PM

17. Two of my longtime friends experienced some troubles and they changed after that.

One lost her 16 step daughter suddenly and became a religious nut then a right wing wacko.
Another divorced her longtime husband and started dating this right winger and she is now so far gone I had to unfriend her.

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Response to CrispyQ (Reply #10)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:39 PM

19. I hear ya! And also, if you do Amazon, you can use smile.amazon.com and pick a charity that part of

your purchase amount will go to.
I picked "Guide Dogs For The Blind Inc" , it's an easy way to support dogs AND people at the same time.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:13 PM

13. I've defriended a good many, myself

I will defriend generally for one of two reasons: 1) The stuff they post is so offensive I don't want them near me ever again or having any illusions that I think they're okay. I don't. Or 2) they're not overtly racist, but they post a bunch of stupid shit supporting Trump or attacking Democrats, AND they're people I think will be brought up short when they realize I've unfriended. It's a reality check.

I still keep a few around who are more stealth Trumpers but who I know read my posts every day. If what I say makes them question their life choices, great. If they're too far gone for that, at the very least I can make them feel bad (or disapproved of) about what they're doing.

I've always posted anti-racist food for thought, stuff that a reasonably decent person would read and think is worth doing something about, maybe even worth sharing with their friends who can be brought along.

But this year, I've gotten WAY more pointed. Not just a "Here's an essay I found interesting" but more of a "This is a quote from the essay and I agree specifically re: people I know who do this" kind of thing. I'm probably averaging a callout once a day.

Some have gotten their feathers ruffled by my relentless attacks re: the statues, and they know they've got no room to hide on that anymore.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:21 PM

15. It is better to know

than not to know.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:30 PM

16. I had a longtime friend who started dating this Right winger guy And she has become a total

Conspiracy driven mf45 supporter. I finally had to snooze her on Facebook.

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Response to kimbutgar (Reply #16)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 01:45 PM

41. As a male,

curious...

I've noticed a lot of posts that indicate that when some event happens and a female gets involved with a RW male partner, she changes her views to his.

I've not noticed the opposite.

What am I missing? It can't be that she is financially dependent (what they used to say in the old days) on him, because she can get a job in most cases.

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Response to Dan (Reply #41)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 02:38 PM

42. I think the majority of right wingers are men and sadly there are women who are desperate

To have a man in their lives. These two friends of mine never got comfortable being on their own and not having a man in their life to make them happy.

I learned when I was a young woman the only person who could make me happy was myself. I never was without boyfriends and pushed my husband of 31 years away for 3 years until he convinced me he’d be a good husband!!!!


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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 03:50 PM

20. I eliminated every one who revealed themselves as trump supporters from my life

zero tolerance policy.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 04:05 PM

21. It's happening to all of us.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 04:17 PM

22. How many of your friends

are family? I forgo the annual reunion because of the family wingnuts.!

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Response to donco (Reply #22)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 07:55 PM

34. Luckily, I've only got one and we never facebooked.

My brother. We've had to work at it, come to a strict no politics agreement. We avoid each other on facebook so we don't make each other want to chew nails. It works. Our parents and sister are gone.

He and I almost lost each other over DJT. It was close. His lifelong love died 6 years ago and a year later he remarried someone who I think bait and switched him. She's a Talibornagain type. She's terminal now. After she goes, I doubt it will even take him 6 months to get back to himself.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 04:23 PM

23. Trump abolished the 'socially acceptable' filter and allowed racist critters to be their true selves

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 04:42 PM

24. I haven't de-friended anybody. THEY have tried to drop me....

I say tried because I got screenshots of things they posted, and I post those screenshots and am merciless. Cruel. Factual.

They unfriend me and block me, but I just keep posting the "best of" screenshots with their names on them. And posting the truth about trump.

It bugs the shit out of them.

FB hasn't stopped me. Yet.

I've posted the rant below everywhere I can. It's verbatim. When other people see it - with the name of the author displayed - they are aghast, and drop the author. He's a pariah among people who know him.

"++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Public enemy #1 is leftist liberals, #2 Islam, Liberal leftist will never understand logic and truth ! They are an ignorant , militant enemy of AMERICA ! Anarchists seeking to destroy America's very foundation ! Liberals are a cancer on America. Liberalism is a disease it breeds degenerate's! The leftist liberal dummycrats are , in reality, marxist/communists - a destructive ideology created by the Marx and Engels . This destructive ideology has wreaked havoc all over the world and has become deeply entrenched in OUR country , especially in the educational system where leftist/socialist/communist have taken over and are brainwashing OUR children ! Liberal leftist teachers/professors have turned OUR schools/colleges into terrorist training camps , as we can see from the violence on OUR campuses today ! What we are seeing is the systematic DUMBING DOWN OF AMERICA ! education is being watered down to cater to the lowest common denominator, the lowest mentality ! Instead of promoting a strong youth of mind - body -soul , we are feminizing men , and masculinizing women ! This has always been a platform of the communist party - to destroy the family unit , which is the foundation stone of OUR country ! George Soros ( Ex Nazi ) is one of many on the liberal left who are using their power/money to fund the destruction of America ! This man is nefarious and a threat to the entire World ! His liberal leftist minions are the TRUE hatemongers of the world ! The mainstream FAKE media are willing participants in the brainwashing of Americans ! Only now are We The People coming to the realization that the mainstream media is THE ENEMY , and has been widely discredited ! So let us resolve to never allow this liberal leftist dummycrat MONSTER to ever raise it's head again in America ! We must CRUSH this menace here , so we can begin to CRUSH it all over the world ! we MUST cleanse the educational system , the political system , and the media of these ENEMY infiltrators ! Never hire a liberal leftist ! Eliminate the welfare state mentality ! Cleanse America of ALL illegals , no matter who they are or how long they have evaded OUR laws ! If We the People can achieve these goals We will have broken the back of this MONSTER in America ! Let it be so !"

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Response to albacore (Reply #24)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 05:05 PM

31. LOL

There's a creep on facebook who has blocked all of us.

He's actually a Democrat who is trying to undermine our local party...So he blocked us so we couldn't see what he was doing. He's a snake.

None of us were screenshot and sharing his stuff publicly. Now if we want to spy on him, we have to use someone else's account.

He's a snake, who gives Democrats a bad name.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 04:45 PM

25. herd immunity

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 04:51 PM

26. In a way, I think it's a plus

that they have identified themselves. I will never let them forget it.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 04:56 PM

27. glad I don't use fascistbook. nt

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 05:01 PM

28. You've gained a friend from Colorado

Thank you for being strong and sticking to your convictions. It's hard when you're outnumbered. I don't do Facebook, but just know you have a friend up here in Mile High Country...when things get better and you wanna head out west, I'd be glad and honored to meet you and show you around!! Stay strong!!

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 05:02 PM

29. I guess I'm pretty lucky... an Instagram story

I left FB and Twitter mid last year (moves that have been joyous for me). However, I kept Instagram, using it as a teaching and sharing tool for my retirement career of writing, speaking and teaching gardeners.

On blackout Tuesday my daughter sent me the all black pic and strongly suggested I post it. My wife and I both did. I noted my IG follower number before and after, and watched for nasty racist screed in the comments.

Well, much to my delight, of nearly 5000 followers, I lost 5...over 100 "likes", not a single comment. I've gained over 200 mire since.

Whether avid heirloom tomato growing and seed saving selects for liberals, or whatever else, it surprised me in a good way.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 05:04 PM

30. Besides friends it cost me family

They are without honor and therefore unworthy of my respect.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 05:14 PM

32. I havent let trump cost me any friends. A few have let him cost them ME though.

But they were the weak minded who cannot have a civil discussion. And oddly some of the more educated of the bunch too. But their world gets smaller and smaller. Only reading what they agree with. Only talking to who they agree with.

Most, we dont discuss politics. Most i've known most of my life. I know these people. I know they are not racists. Believe it or not, i have a gay cousin in her 20s who is a big trumper. She's an odd one to figure out i guess!!

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Response to oldsoftie (Reply #32)

Thu Jul 2, 2020, 05:45 AM

45. Cool story, bro.

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Response to RandiFan1290 (Reply #45)

Thu Jul 2, 2020, 06:54 AM

46. Yes, it is. Nice to be associated with adults. Mostly.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Sun Jun 28, 2020, 05:40 PM

33. Tbogg once gave the perfect answer...

His daughter was off to college. And he and daughter were on great terms when many other parents were not. And he thought why that was and the advice he would give other parents in having a good relationship with their children - and with others.

Are you ready...?

“Don’t be an asshole.”

Forget all you were taught before, forget that circle-of-life nonsense, just four simple words. In all you do in life, don’t be that.

The Trumpers and Reich-wing doesn’t get that.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 11:10 AM

35. The quote marks indicate the caliber of the friend.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 11:14 AM

36. I think Facebook should people when they get unfriended

instead they just vanish and I bet most don't realize it happened.

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Response to fescuerescue (Reply #36)

Thu Jul 2, 2020, 06:57 AM

47. Yep, I didnt know one had doen it until another friend told me!

Apparently the guy had posted that he "had" to unfriend a longtime friend because of the "constant" criticism of trump. Funny thing is, i rarely posted about trump. The one that pushed him over the edge was the video of trump dancing around like a child during the national anthem for the Super Bowl. I titled it "when you cant get your 3 yr old to settle down like everyone else"

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 11:16 AM

37. One good solid loyal friend is worth thousands of fake ones.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 11:20 AM

38. Quality over quantity

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 11:23 AM

39. Never had many "friends" on FB. Never wanted any...

anybody who measures their life based on that is pretty shallow, IMNSHO.

I've blocked a few folks along the way, though. Simply had to. I can no longer suffer fools like I used to be able to.

Sometimes it takes me 5 minutes to weed through the list of "people I might like to know."

What I have left are a small group of friends and family, mo of whom I knew IRL before FB. Not adding many of those either.

Social distancing is easy if you're basically already a hermit.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Mon Jun 29, 2020, 11:29 AM

40. They'll be back when Trump is gone.

They'll stuff their racism back in the closet, take the Trump bumper stickers off their cars, and claim they never voted for him.

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Response to hunter (Reply #40)

Thu Jul 2, 2020, 07:00 AM

48. I think youre right. I think the polls are opposite this time

Last time, there were those who would say they werent voting trump in public, but did. This time i think a lot of people, depending on where you live, say in public they support him, but privately they've had it

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Thu Jul 2, 2020, 07:00 AM

49. I'm one less page for Zuckerberg to make

Money on thru advertising. Plus, I don't have to think about sharing genetic material with people who think and reason so poorly.

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Response to KentuckyWoman (Original post)

Thu Jul 2, 2020, 08:06 AM

50. this post makes me wonder all the more what is the hold that FB has over people, why not just

ditch it favor of some other mechanism for blogging/maintaining contact with people you WANT to maintain contact with? And one which allows you to own the content and control your own personal data.

As near as I can figure, its just a way of amassing large nos. of "friends," who arent really friends. I mean, OK, if that's what you want - a business might want that, but I sure as heck donn't.

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