Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

H2O Man

(73,308 posts)
Fri Jul 27, 2018, 01:11 AM Jul 2018

The Last Temptation of Trump

“Then Donald of Trump was led by his caddie upon a gold course to playeth with himself. For 40 years, he had been a buffoon, wandering through desert of failed business ventures and moral bankruptcy. And thus he was tempted: 'I am Donald of Trump, begotten of a line of racist thieves. Merrily, merrily, I say unto myself, I must cheat and steal from others.'

“It was then that Donald of Trump was approached by Michael the Cohen, who said unto him, 'You could be transformed, and enjoyeth the temporary favor of Russian wealth. Yet I sayeth unto you, that ye must first be willing to launder some cash.' Thus, Donald of Trump sayeth, 'Deal me in.'

“Upon the green appeared numerous females urinating to be with Donald of Trump, who did not wait to be sorely tempted. 'I am Donald of Trump' he saideth, 'and I shall make a hole in one upon this verily golf course.' Donald the Trump toldeth his pick she seemed familiar, to which Ivanka the Stepford baptized him with moist open limbs.

“Donald the Trump was then summoned unto the top of Trump Tower, for a meeting with three wise guys, who had journeyed from Russia bearing gifts for him. They performed great miracles that made it appear Donald the Trump was actually a successful businessman. And thus they beckoned him unto Moscow, to worship at the feet of Putin.

“Whilest Donald the Trump was in Moscow, he met with some of Putin's followers, who instructed him to grasp unto worldly powers. 'It is your destiny,' they counseled unto him, 'as Donald the Trump, begotten from your father's very scrotum, to rule your nation, and led the twelve tribes of white nationalism therein to the broken promises land.' And Trump saideth, 'Merrily, merrily, I say unto you, okay. But can you help?'

“Thereafter, Donald the Trump was made ruler of his nation. Yet Comey of Deep State therein plotted to destroy him. Yet, Donald the Trump had learned from the lap of Putin to wage battle against those enemies who favored the truth. Thus, he attacked the press, the intelligence community, and the judicial system. Then, Donald the Trump ordered that he be served Comey's head upon a golden platter.

“The death of Comey did not relieve the pressure upon Trump, for Comey of Deep State was replaced by Mueller the Just. 'Someone must payeth the price for this,' said Trump. His flock was sorely amazed when he commanded his closest followers to hurl themselves off of cliffs, and many were willing to thrust their earthly bodies under the bus. Yet the political death and incarceration did naught to relieve the pressures upon him.

“Therefore and thereafter, Donald the Trump sought counsel with Putin in the land of Helsinki. Putin instructed Trump to display his power to the world, by doing what no other leader of his nation had ever considered. So on stage, Trump bowed on bended knee and kissed Putin's ring. Although he expected the earth's people to applaud, Trump was verily sore to learn they were turning against him.

“Once home in his mansion, Donald the Trump was subjected unto more pressure. His once trusted aide Michael of Cohen betrayed him. Cohen spoke about Trump's coordinating with Putin. Despite his court jester Rudy G's efforts to spin, it soon became known that Hope the Hick had already informed Mueller of a Trump Tower meeting that Trump knew thereof.

“And that's the beginning of the end, folks!”

11 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
The Last Temptation of Trump (Original Post) H2O Man Jul 2018 OP
svaha ! dweller Jul 2018 #1
My dear H20 Man! CaliforniaPeggy Jul 2018 #2
I can't wait to read the final chapter world wide wally Jul 2018 #3
is that you dad? Q thewhollytoast Jul 2018 #4
The day of reckoning is coming dalton99a Jul 2018 #5
Thanks as usual, Waterguy. yonder Jul 2018 #6
I feel as if it will go on forever and ever, damnation Hekate Jul 2018 #7
K&R 2naSalit Jul 2018 #8
and the choir responded with a onethatcares Jul 2018 #9
Thus saith the LORD, coeur_de_lion Jul 2018 #10
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord, yortsed snacilbuper Jul 2018 #11

CaliforniaPeggy

(149,297 posts)
2. My dear H20 Man!
Fri Jul 27, 2018, 01:18 AM
Jul 2018

You are inspired tonight!

This is wonderful. What a great parody of Biblical proportions.

Thank you!

coeur_de_lion

(3,662 posts)
10. Thus saith the LORD,
Fri Jul 27, 2018, 11:09 AM
Jul 2018

"In this thou shalt know that I am the LORD: behold, I will smite with the rod that is in mine hand upon the waters which are in the Potomac river."

Then the LORD said, "I will smite them with the pestilence, and disinherit them, and will make of thee a greater nation and mightier than they."

The word of the LORD.

Thanks be to God.

yortsed snacilbuper

(7,939 posts)
11. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the lord,
Fri Jul 27, 2018, 12:14 PM
Jul 2018

he was coming round the corner in a,
black and yellow ford.
one hand was on the throttle and the other on a bottle,
of pabst blue ribbon beer!

Latest Discussions»General Discussion»The Last Temptation of Tr...