The family who took him in.

[grantcart]

CNN is reporting that the shooter who had been orphaned twice was taken in by a family who opened their home to take in someone that wasn't doing well.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/14/us/nikolas-cruz-florida-shooting-suspect/index.html

The family took Cruz in last year after his adoptive mother died. Cruz was depressed, Lewis said. The family's son knew Cruz, so they opened their home, got him into a GED class and helped him get a job at a Dollar Tree store, the lawyer said.

. . .

Cruz had a gun. The family knew that, but they had established rules. He had to keep it in a lockbox in his room. Cruz had the key to the lockbox, the attorney said.

"This family did what they thought was right, which was take in a troubled kid and try to help him, and that doesn't mean he can't bring his stuff into their house. They had it locked up and believed that that was going to be sufficient, that there wasn't going to be a problem. Nobody saw this kind of aggression or motive in this kid, that he would ever do anything like this," Lewis said.

. . .

His host family knew nothing of his social media activity, Lewis said.

"They're not social media people. They're parents. They're just not that kind of folks. And he's an adult, and they tried to help him. But did they check up on him and follow him every minute of every day? They didn't, because they didn't see any of the signs that would indicate that there was anything really amiss, that he was capable of something violent," he said.

A good deed never goes unpunished and in this case this family will suffer for years. Ours is a throwaway society and we throw away families, children, women, vets or anyone when they no longer fit. Hillary was right that it takes a village to raise a child and when that village gets infected by the aggressive Ayn Rand philosophy of the far right Republican party it comes down to individual families doing heroic things.

Even before the victims were identified harsh sentiments were raining down on the "parents" who enabled this shooter, except that his parents have been long dead and the single mother who adopted him died of flu/pneumonia in November. Even on DU judgements were being made. Even if they had not allowed him to bring the guns into the house he would have easily found a place to store them.

The family who took him in appeared to be an example of the best of us and today, with the rest of the shooter's victims I think about the kindness of the family who took him in and all of the abuse that they will have to endure on top of their own sadness.

All I can say is thank you for the kindness that you showed him.

[Demsrule86]

1. Sorry. He was troubled and had a gun. He should never have had a gun.

[LanternWaste]

2. Who is arguing he should have had a gun?

"He was troubled and had a gun. He should never have had a gun..."

Who is arguing he should have had a gun?

[robbob]

39. The family knew he had a gun and were ok with it.

I also find that weird. What 19 year old needs a gun?

...but then again, I’m from Canada, eh?

[pnwmom]

45. They knew his mother let him have it, but they insisted it go in a locked box.

And he was an adult -- it wasn't their job to order him around. I don't blame them for not understanding what a risk he was.

[politicaljunkie41910]

54. I wouldn't have allowed him in my house with a gun, even if it was locked up.

I may have considered it if he turned the weapon over to my husband and I and we had the lock and the gun, not him. The articles all say that people who knew him, knew he was troubled and had lost family members who had died recently. I am as compassionate as they come, and I would not have put my family at risk by having a 19 year old in my home with an automatic rifle and he held the key. Sorry but that is too risky for me, to put my loved ones at risk, regardless of how much empathy and compassion I had for him.

[pnwmom]

94. I wouldn't have wanted a gun in my house either. But that's not the point.

The people who are blaming the friend's parents somehow think that if they had banned him, the town would have been safer. But it obviously wouldn't have. If he and his gun were kicked out of the house, then he and his gun would have been wandering around Parkland, ready to go on his rampage at any time.

Whether he was living with that family or not made no difference. Those people trying to be nice to him didn't CAUSE him to go on his shooting spree, that he had begun dreaming of months before

[Demsrule86]

92. They knew he was a risk...and I do blame them. He should not have had a gun...and

there were other guns in the house too...did they know he had a AR 15? Did they monitor his social media? They knew he had threatened others. Taking in a troubled kid is a huge responsibility. You don't just assume he will act as an 'adult' as the mother said. Did he see a psychiatrist? Honestly, you may disagree (and that is fine) but I feel that the parents in this family should face some sort of charges.

[pnwmom]

93. Did they monitor his social media? Almost all 19 year olds know a lot more about social media

than their parents -- or their non-parents who have given them a roof to live under.

Please explain to me how Parkland would have been any safer if the friend's parents had kicked him and his gun out of their house. He would have been wandering around the town with an assault weapon in his backpack, which he could have taken to school and started a rampage any time.

The problem wasn't where he was living -- it was that he was allowed to purchase that gun and ammo at the age of 18, and had had it ever since.

[Demsrule86]

95. I don't know. It just seems that by allowing him access to the gun, they were a part of it.

You are right the problem was he is allowed by law to purchase a gun...and of course Trump made it so mentally ill folks can buy guns with limited background checks. I would have kicked him out and called the police...tried to get him in hospital for 72 hours at least. Did this family have other kids? It seems like a terrible risk.

I have taken kids in. I tripped over them in various places...one girl I met in the mall who was starving was kicked out of her house by her mother because her stepfather hated the girl. She was 15. It is horrible for kids these days. Even my own daughter's friend in a nice area, you would not believe some of the things that went on. The girl was one of my successes; helped her get a job when she turned 16 and back in school (found a lawyer and her miserable excuse for parents had to pay the state child support for this girl)...eventually she went to college and met a young man...they have kids now. I still hear from her. But I had failures too. I still wonder if I could have done more in those cases. I speak from experience about monitoring social media. It is vital that you know what is going on with these kids. Sadly, the laws are not on our side. It is hard to get kids in for treatment for mental issues. And in a few weeks, this will be forgotten until the next time...heartbreaking

[pnwmom]

97. Good for you for trying!

And you are right. The law isn't on our side.

As far as Cruz goes, the friends' lawyer says they didn't see concerning behavior at their house. And that is conceivable to me. He might have been able to pull himself together enough not to scare the people he was living with. They thought he was grieving, and that's what some of the neighbors said, too. (Though one neighbor said she knew something was wrong because he wore a hoodie and kept his head down!)

So if the friends didn't see any concerning behavior in the few months he was there, what were they supposed to call the police about? He was the legal owner of the gun. That's what the police would have told them. (As it is, someone else reported him to the FBI for some youtube video, and the FBI didn't follow up.)

[Demsrule86]

98. I do try. I have had a number of kids live with me. I think it is a terrible thing that kids are

treated as disposable these days. It sounds like this kid was mentally ill for a long time...hearing voices and killing animals. Sadly, there is little help out there for treatment these days. My daughter suffered from depression and we almost lost her. We had insurance and were able to get her into a hospital for treatment. It was a long road and there is no ending ...only watchfulness.

[Demsrule86]

91. The family who took him in allowed him a gun and gave him a key to the gun lockbox.

I feel that this deserves no praise. I do not admire this family ...that is all I meant.

[Sailor65x1]

8. Fair statement, but what does this have to do with the OP?

There are plenty of places for you to say this without hijacking a thread about the goodness of people who try to help.

[Egnever]

21. I find the idea they didn't know he was violent questionable

The kid was kicked out of school for violence and had a history of it in the community. I feel for these folks as they were trying to help but I don't find their arguments compelling.

The kids at the school sure as hell knew he was violent as there are several on record saying they thought it was probably him before it was confirmed.

I do feel for these folks trying to help out a kid who by all accounts was in a very fucked up situation but the idea he didn't show violent tenancies leave me feeling like they are making excuses.

I don't think they should be denigrated for trying to help but I don't think he never showed violent tendencies really holds up.

[Demsrule86]

90. Hijacking the thread? You want to praise the people that did 'a good thing' and took him in...I

don't see it that way. He had a gun...and they knew it...they gave him a key for the lock box that contained the gun...so I will say it again. He should not have been permitted by this family to have a gun. He was mentally ill and had threatened kids at school which is one of the reason he was kicked out. I am not sure that this family should not face charges. I don't know how they can live with themselves really. So how am I hijacking the thread? Perhaps you don't agree with me that the family who took him in should have refused to allow him access to a gun and that's fine, we can agree to disagree...but I responded to the article posted.

"Cruz had a gun. The family knew that, but they had established rules. He had to keep it in a lockbox in his room. Cruz had the key to the lockbox, the attorney said."

[LanternWaste]

3. There were some pretty Old Testament pronouncements being laid at the father's feet.

There were some pretty Old Testament pronouncements being laid at the father's feet. But I expect visceral reactions like that in the days after incidents like this one... as humans, we point fingers without discrimination (as it's easier than the alternatives).

[bettyellen]

4. They didnt know about the machetes and hows he had threatened kids with them?

And sadly from his Instagram, it looked like 4-5 guns.

[B2G]

6. Likely not.

He had only lived with them a few months.

[bettyellen]

9. Without hearing about why he was kicked out of school? I think Id want to know.

[B2G]

11. Kids lie.

I'm sure they felt sorry for him and were trying to help. I'm equally sure they had no idea what was going on in his head or what he was capable of.

[bettyellen]

12. You think if they were taking him in heir home theyd take steps to find out. All the kids seemed to

Have heard about it. I’m sure they meant well, but if he had behaviora mental issues that were going unaddressed. Well, ignoring it doesn’t help.

[pnwmom]

46. What steps?

[bettyellen]

65. Finding out what it takes to get kicked out of that school, for starters...

That’s not difficult information to come by. They likely knew he had behavioral problems and they definitely knew he had weapons. That’s dangerous mix for their own kid to be around, as well as themselves. I wonder what the kids former guardians had to tell them, as well as the family he was living with previously. People around them knew he had therapy mandated, I’d find out why and why it was discontinued, at the very least.

[pnwmom]

69. The school couldn't tell them -- that's covered by privacy laws. The boy's parents weren't

"former guardians." They had adopted him at birth, and later the father died, and the mother died three months ago. The boy didn't like whoever was designated to care for him, and asked his friend if he could live with his family instead.

And information about therapy is also covered by privacy laws.

[bettyellen]

72. Its easily googlable these days. He had lived with friends of the moms for a while- Im sure they

Had a clearer and honest picture of what was going on with the kid than their son did. If the kid hated t there it’s an issue as to why.

You’re an idiot if you bring a troubled person with guns into your house without anything more than a teenagers word that it’s cool. Foolish family. They should have not allowed a virtual stranger w guns and problems unfettered access to them. A cabinet doesn’t cut it.

[LisaL]

106. And they let him have a gun in his room in a lockbox, with him having the keys.

They are lucky he didn't go after them first.
Adam Lanza went after his mother first (who bought him guns even though she obviously knew he wasn't normal).

[LisaL]

105. At 19 he is an adult male.

He is supposed to be caring for himself.

[mainstreetonce]

5. I don't want to put any blame on that family at this time

But they should have known he was not allowed to carry a backpack to his original school because he threatened bringing in a weapon.

They should have had a no gun rule for their own family's safety.

[B2G]

7. How would they know that?

Unless their son or Cruz told them. They weren't his parents.

[LisaL]

108. If you let someone into your home with a gun, maybe make an effort to find out things about that

someone.

[pnwmom]

47. How would they know about something that happened a year ago at school? School disciplinary matters

are private.

[meadowlander]

10. Yes, who could have anticipated that a depressed kid with a key to the gun cabinet

would ever actually use that key to open the cabinet and kill somebody?

Being nice people and acting foolishly aren't mutually exclusive. And there is nothing wrong with pointing out the foolish actions when 17 kids are dead partially as a result of them.

Let it be a lesson to other nice people. If your kid is depressed, don't let him carry the key to the gun cabinet. Ideally, don't have a gun cabinet in the first place, but, you know, baby steps.

[gay texan]

17. Precisely n/t

[AtheistCrusader]

29. It wasn't their gun cabinet. It was his.

He was a legal adult.


This is likely a case of compromise, where they took him in, and if they hadn't allowed him to keep his stuff, he'd simply have been homeless instead.

[hunter]

48. Their house.

Maybe this will open a few minds to "no gun" rules.

Probably not.

A Harbor Freight angle grinder will destroy a gun pretty quick.

If the gun belongs to someone you fear, you don't want them in your house anyways.

[AtheistCrusader]

49. I assume they didn't fear him.

I also assume, they wanted to help him adjust into a productive life, not give him every reason to simply leave and live on the streets or whatever.

[hunter]

58. He's in their house.

Guns are not essential to a "productive life."

I wouldn't let anyone smoke in my house either even though cigarettes are a habit a lot harder to quit.

Normalizing gun fetishes is disgusting.

[bettyellen]

68. No one cared enough about the many girls in that school that did fear him....

Gotta love hearing it only matters becasue the grownups weren’t being threatened. Great.

[AtheistCrusader]

75. There's no link between those two issues.

This problem was not presented to the people who took him in, as a choice.

[bettyellen]

86. Id do my research on the kids history and ditch the guns as a condition of taking him in.

He had the option of staying with his mothers friend. If he was going to be homeless it was becasue he priortized having easy access to weapons. Red flags abound. It’s okay to say no. And yeah, I’d google info on what it takes to get suspended and talk to other kids. They knew.

[AtheistCrusader]

87. Then he'd be living somewhere else. Or on the streets.

I fail to see how this prevents the disaster that followed taking him in.

[bettyellen]

89. It prevents me from endangering myself and family and not aiding a blossoming criminal.

If there was something to do to help w socia services, I’d try but indulging this kid was not going to help matters any. If he’s living rent free and working becasue if me- is he spending his free cash on more guns? I’d be worried about that. I’d be worried about the younger brother too.
But I’d have to draw a line at assisting someone go down the wrong path. AK-15 in my home. Not going to happen.

[bettyellen]

67. A smarter compromise is that they lock the guns and allow their use on a

Limited and supervised basis only. Depressed angry kid and guns? Not a good combo, ever. If he’d rather be homeless than not have access to a gun, that’s another red flag.

[AtheistCrusader]

74. It's not an easy situation.

Also, we're not privy to much of the scenario. Sounds like they tried to do the right thing, maybe things could have been done differently, but I see (at the moment) no reason to put any of the blame on them. (Not suggesting that's what you're doing)

[jrthin]

76. Then so be it: he's homeless. It's their

Home, they make the rules. That MAGA cap should have been a clue, unless they agree with the MAGA politics.

[AtheistCrusader]

77. Are you listening to yourself?

[jrthin]

81. Yes I am. I will not let

A troubled person with a gun (even without a gun) into my home. I have a moral and ethical responsibility to myself and my family. If the 19year old adult cannot leave his gun outside of my home, then I will help the State find a place for him. If that is considered heartless, then so be it.

[AtheistCrusader]

83. I'm an adoptive parent, but I will admit, the circumstances under which I adpoted were considerably

different than this.

I have stored firearms for people who were in bad situations. My boss's brother was potentially suicidal, and boss couldn't have guns in his home, so I stored them in my safe. When his brother got his shit together, they were given back. I made that deal knowing that at some point they'd go back to him, and that condition was necessary to getting the guns out of his brother's hands in the first place. That was a couple years ago. Worked out so far. Might have gone badly after they were given back... He was doing much better, but you never really know, you know?


Still, I feel I have to try. Have to take risks sometimes to help people.

[jrthin]

84. I fully understand and appreciate your position. And

Last edited Fri Feb 16, 2018, 04:44 PM - Edit history (1)

People like you will always be needed to carry the load for those of us who can't or won't carry that load. There are people who bring home stray animals and nurse them. I bring home stray people (it's what I've been known for most of my adult life) and nurse them the best way I can. However, I draw the line against guns and violent people because I am ill equipped to handle such situations. I will always help, but I know my limitation.

[bettyellen]

85. The kid had the option of staying with the Moms friend. He wanted to call the shots and go elsewhere

I’m kind of surprised to see people acting as if this kid could morally obligate anyone to bend to his whims. Saying no is okay. Even to family, as an adult- sometimes you gotta day no.

[Beaverhausen]

13. "They're not social media people. They're parents." What the hell does that mean?

I'm a grandparent and I'm all over social media.

[mainer]

14. It's one thing to open your home to a stray kid.

But to let him bring an assault rifle under my roof? Never.

[sarisataka]

15. Yet even knowing the facts

Of this family, there are those who want them imprisoned or at least sued into poverty in a rush for vengeance

[GWC58]

18. Ill wait until the dust settles first

Yesterday it was “reported” the gun was the shooters fathers. So yeah I’ll wait.

[samir.g]

16. They knew he was armed and mentally ill. They aided and abetted

[grantcart]

19. Your assertion that they knew he was "mentally ill" is fabricated.

On the contrary they saw someone who responded to some structure, entered GED, got a job,etc.

[Kaleva]

23. Do you like making stuff up?

Where did you find that they knew he was mentally ill?

[samir.g]

24. "depressed" "troubled" ""had been dealing with mental health issues" "worried he was violent"

[Kaleva]

43. I'm a certified Mental Health First Aider

Recognized by the state of Michigan for being such and I know I'm not qualified to determine if someone is mentally ill or not.

[bettyellen]

110. False reasoning. You dont need a diaganosis to know a withdrawn and depressed kid and AK 15 are a

Bad idea. It’s social services that rely on diaganosis- people like me rely on commons sense.

[Kaleva]

111. ANYBODY with an AR-15 is a bad idea.

People like me rely on common sense.

[bettyellen]

112. And a depressed kid with an AK-15 is not who you rely on to make these decisions

[Kaleva]

113. No, we ought to be able to decide that the AR-15 isn't fit for anyone

But we are held back by supposedly sane and mentally healthy people who want no restrictions on access to guns such as the AR-15. The people who may have mental health issues are not to blame. It's the sane people who are aware of the carnage these type of guns cause but don't care, don't want any interference with them buying such, or make big profits from the sale of these guns are the problem.

[bettyellen]

114. You got that right. Its insane.

[USALiberal]

57. You are clueless. n.t

[Oneironaut]

79. We absolutely do not know anything. You cant even trust half

of the garbage that comes from the sensationalist media. One of the biggest problems in our society is “trial-by-media,” where people are given a quarter of the facts and whipped up into a frenzy. I am withholding all judgment - especially against the family. They are likely having a hard time right now as well.

[FirstLight]

20. ...I feel a rant coming on...

But since this is your thread, I will contain myself.

My son is 14, almost 15. He has been displaying increasing aggression and rebellion for the past few months. I have been to the school and had the meetings with counselors, trying to get him and us help as a family to deal with these extremes in behavior. I have called the Sheriff, and had CPS involved. I have asked the Dr. to help us get a Psych evaluation, because I know he's being irrational, and when he can't escalate...he goes the opposite direction and threatens to kill himself. I live with emotional extremes almost every day. I know he's self medicating with pot, and other than constantly checking his room, I can't control what he does when he sneaks off campus (again, school officials KNOW, and nothing happens)...I only recently got a counseling grant from social services to get us appointments...now the struggle is making him GO.

My point... It didn't happen overnight, but I came to realize this was beyond "normal teen angst"...Then I had to prepare for the correct timing. One day I finally went into his room and the rest of the house, and removed EVERYTHING dangerous. His BBgun was first to go. He had some cheap throwing knives for practice out in the backyard (his sister had a cheezy archery set and they'd do that from time to time)...those went, all scissors, all my kitchen knives...then I cleaned out my own medicine cabinet...all cough meds, allergy pills, only left behind my multi-vitamins.
That morning I went to the school and told them I had tossed his room and was expecting the SHTF that evening and needed them to be on alert at school for him fighting or cutting or leaving campus, we had a fun time with him running away for about a week following.

We are still not through this by any means. He called me horrible things for making him get on the bus this morning. He's trying to get me to pull him out of school and do "online school" but his grades are atrocious and the abusive way he acts is NOT something I can handle or control 24/7. Meanwhile, he's a pissed off and very depressed kid and I can't do anything but try and remove the things he can hurt himself with.
Meanwhile I wait for the psych referral to come through, I call the sheriff when it gets narly, and I try to keep getting him and the rest of the family to counseling...
What else?

Those people had to have some idea he was a fucked up individual - and they should have taken steps to keep him away from things that are dangerous. And what about getting hm help? did anyone try that? (Though I can say, getting help is also very difficult, and there's only so much a school can do)

[renate]

22. I don't have words

... but I wanted to say something, however inadequate, to express how sorry I am that you and your family are going through such a difficult time. It's so, so hard to deal with anger like that, and with the fear and suspense and uncertainty that his behavior is causing, and it's also hard to see your kid suffer while you're suffering yourself. You probably feel as though you're walking on eggshells all the time, or living in dread of the next terrible fight. I'm so sorry. It's more than anybody should have to endure. I wish you and your family the very best.

[FirstLight]

26. ...

thanks...

[Sophia4]

28. This . . . Meanwhile I wait for the psych referral to come through"

says it all.

Parents can't even learn how their child, the child they love and despair over, compares to other children. They can't get help.

And the other side to this violence against others by young people, some still children, is the opioid crisis, the many, many people killing themselves with drugs they think will kill their pain, emotional and physical.

I recall that prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, at least when I lived in Europe, it was East Germans who were known for drinking a lot of alcohol and trying to self-medicate.

http://www.dw.com/en/research-reveals-widespread-alcoholism-in-communist-east-germany/a-15033014

Psychological and what I would call spiritual pain is very common in the United States, and guns are both a symptom and a cause of that pain.

I would like to know a lot more about the homes this shooter lived in.

[MontanaMama]

35. Thank you for sharing your

experience and for all you are doing to help your son. I'm sick and sad you or anyone has to go through something this heart wrenching. Small words, I know.

[ecstatic]

52. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You're doing everything right, IMO.

Your following your gut and being proactive. Thank you and best wishes.

[Tatiana]

53. Thank you for everything you are doing.

There are so many factors to consider... chemical, hormonal, mental health...

You are taking all the right steps. I think what is maybe so frustrating is that Cruz did not have someone as responsible and responsive as you.

It is so hard, but I truly believe that sometimes the best solution for some of these students is to put them in an inpatient, residential-type facility ('cottages'). Students can still attend school and receive instruction from certified teachers, but also have regular therapy and socioemotional learning sessions as well. We are so focused on academics that we no longer teach things like how to get along with others, how to manage strong emotions, how to manage anger, what to do when you feel like you might hurt someone, etc....

These kids need to be taught strategies and they need to have the mental capacity to receive, comprehend, and utlitize the instruction. It takes time, patience, and consistency. But the most successful cases I have seen of students who turn it around (including more than a few of my own) are the ones that lived in the therapeutic setting for a long-term basis.

Unfortunately, many of these facilities are struggling for funds and have long waiting lists. This is a national disgrace.

[lunasun]

55. That's what's happening in your case but they claim he was depressed but never saw agggression

like you are experiencing with your child . If he was hiding it and they didn't know him well , the help they were getting him by getting him into GED class and a job was probably seen as progress

Do people who have kids who commit suicide and then claim they didn't see it coming fall under this assumption of no way possible can't be true they avoided getting help before it happened what's wrong with them also?

... that that was going to be sufficient, that there wasn't going to be a problem. Nobody saw this kind of aggression or motive in this kid, that he would ever do anything like this," Lewis said...

[tblue37]

70. He was in counseling, but he stopped going a year ago. nt

[bettyellen]

73. Im so sorry youre going through this, grateful youre handling it so well.

Am hoping for a good outcome for you.

[IronLionZion]

25. If we should profile, monitor, and disarm people with violent rage issues and mental instability

that's most Trumpanzees.

Families have thrown out their children for anything from being gay, to dating a person of the wrong race, to they are just bad parents who don't love their children. People have murdered their own children for having mental or physical disabilities. We shouldn't judge a family for opening their hearts and homes to someone. And maybe, their kindness was preventing him from doing bad things. He did this shooting after his adoptive mother passed away. Psychologists will probably analyze him and find out some stuff. It could be that he felt he had no one else in this world who wanted him and nothing to lose.

People can be a bit too quick to pass judgement. I would blame lax gun laws before blaming the family.

[lunasun]

56. ++++++Agree

[B2G]

27. He had only lived with them 2 weeks.

According to the court docs.

[gopiscrap]

30. as a fosetr child myself, I concur

[ProudLib72]

31. I want to add just one thing

It was reported that he is 19. If they took him in a year ago, he was 18 at the time. He was legally an adult.

This presents a problem when discussing the issue of adoptive/foster "parents". I understand this kid basically did not have parents growing up and these folks took him in. I will not blame them (I did in a post yesterday before all the info was known).

The point here is that he is an adult but had never had a good family life so he was troubled. Does that mean we should view him as a child? That one or two year difference between "minor" and "adult" in this instance makes all the difference in the world. If a 17 year old did this, we would look to the parents. If a 19 year old does this, it becomes his own fault. That really says something about our society.

[FirstLight]

32. truth

It's hard to find resources for a minor with mental & emotional abandonment and other issues...but as an adult, nobody can 51/50 him unless he tries something...but then it's too late?

[B2G]

33. They didn't take him in a year ago.

They took him in 2 weeks ago. His mom had just died last November and he and his brother were staying with some of her friends. He didn't like it there so he moved out.

[ProudLib72]

42. Ok, that makes the point even stronger

They took him in when he was already an adult.

See, he is being portrayed as a child, but he is 19. I'm only commenting on the discrepancy between "legal age" and "emotional age". I contend there are a heck of a lot of "adult" children out there who need help and will never receive it.

[IronLionZion]

63. "Nikolas was adopted at birth by Lynda Cruz and her husband"

Nikolas was adopted at birth by Lynda Cruz and her husband, the latter of whom died during Nikolas's childhood of a heart attack. His adoptive mother died on November 1, 2017, from influenza and pneumonia. He had been living with relatives and friends since her death. Cruz had previously been receiving mental health services. However, he stopped going and never returned.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoneman_Douglas_High_School_shooting

His adoptive mom died last November. Losing the adoptive mom who raised him could have affected him mentally in terrible ways.

[B2G]

64. Yes. Or

It could have had nothing to do with it.

[LisaL]

107. His issues started long before his adoptive mother died.

Even when mother was alive, police was called to their house numerous times.

[tblue37]

71. The Cruzes adopted him and his brother as babies. He adoptive father

died of a heart attack some years ago, and his adoptive mother died in November last year from flu complications.

[BigmanPigman]

34. The family's son was at the school when it happened.

Think how terrible this must be for him too. They were friends.

[ananda]

36. And yet they allowed him to keep his gun in a locked box IN HIS ROOM !!!

!!!

[LovingA2andMI]

37. Not Feeling The EXCUSES.....

SEVENTEEN FAMILIES who sent their children to SCHOOL or family member to WORK, now have to bury their CHILDREN or FAMILY MEMBER.

[hueymahl]

38. Wow, some of you people are just awful

Attacking a family that tried to help a troubled kid.

[robbob]

41. Not so much attacking the family...

As questioning why anyone would let a troubled kid keep a gun in the house. He could have just as easily started his day by killing them all.

[lunasun]

59. Or the post attacking the dead father ..including lock him up ! Real mob mentality

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=10230253

[LisaL]

100. At 19 he is an adult.

I am getting tired of people calling him a kid.

[IluvPitties]

40. I don't blame this family for anything.

[kcr]

44. I think they were doing a good thing helping out someone who needed it

but at the same time showed bad judgment letting him bring the gun into their home. Both things can be true at the same time. I also don't think they're to blame for the shooting.

[JI7]

50. I have a huge problem with them allowing him to have a gun

Especially since they say he was troubled. I wouldn't even let someone who didn't have problems bring the gun.

[Azathoth]

60. He was an adult who legally owned a gun

The family couldn't steal the gun from him or force him to "get help." They did the best they could: required he lock the gun up safely and tried to direct him into getting a GED and a job.

He would have shot that school up regardless of where he was staying. Hell, if he had been sleeping on a park bench, he might have gone homicidal even sooner. Bashing people who at least tried to do right by him is counterproductive.

[LisaL]

101. They couldn't steal his gun but certainly they were not obligated to allow him into their home with

that gun. Their idea of gun safety was apparently to let him keep this gun in his room in a lockbox, with him having the key. I am not impressed.

[yardwork]

61. They didn't give him any weapons, correct?

The family did a kindness to somebody in need without judging. Doesn't get more Christian than that.

[dembotoz]

62. sounded like the area where the kid lived was more rural...hunting happens, guns are normal

this family tried to do the right thing

hindsight is 20/20
couple years back, i took in a soon to be homeless woman who i in all honesty did not know very well

turns out she had more issues than the national geographic.....but it was the right thing to do and i am proud that i did it.

it is the way i was brought up.....we rec to the moon any du'er who takes in a stray kitten, but a stray human? not so much.

I would hope that i would do it again. Since then one of my kids moved back home and there currently is not room at the inn....so to speak...

There are folks out there that we just do not know about.....
If we as democrats brag about caring for other folks, don't we at some point actually do it?

I salute this family and wish them well.

at least they tried

[tblue37]

66. His adoptive mother was only single because she was widowed. Her husband, the boy's adoptive father,

died of a heart attack.

[grantcart]

88. I understood it was his natural father who died of a heart attack 10 years ago

Do you have a link on your information?

[LisaL]

99. No, adoptive father.

[SweetieD]

78. There is no way he was presenting as a normal young man. Maybe they just didn't care. And who

Calls an adult an "orphan"? He was an adult when his adoptive mother died. Both my parents are dead too, am I an orphan? Come on. Stop having sympathy for this devil.

[obamanut2012]

80. A kid still in school gets to be called an ophan if his last aprent dies

I live here. I know people affected. I ahve zero sympathy for him, but this scorched earth policy discussing the event and the people connected to it is bizarre.

HE WAS AN ORPHAN.

[SweetieD]

82. His adoptive mother died after he was kicked out of school. He is not an orphan and

That is not the definition of one either. Every day kids are released from the foster care system at 18. They are considered adults. No one would call them orphans. And if they wind up committing crimes to survive no one is having sympathy for them, let alone if they committed mass murder. I have zero sympathy for this man.

[janx]

96. Wait a minute:

Cruz had a gun. The family knew that, but they had established rules. He had to keep it in a lockbox in his room. Cruz had the key to the lockbox, the attorney said.

"This family did what they thought was right, which was take in a troubled kid and try to help him, and that doesn't mean he can't bring his stuff into their house. They had it locked up and believed that that was going to be sufficient, that there wasn't going to be a problem. Nobody saw this kind of aggression or motive in this kid, that he would ever do anything like this," Lewis said.

"They had it locked up" according to the lawyer? No. He kept it in his room.

They had a mentally troubled young adult in their home with a firearm in his room. They were not in control of it, as the lawyer maintains; he was.

Even in cases when adults with mentally ill kids (Newtown, CT anyone?) keep their guns in a locked cabinet, the troubled young adults can gain access to them.

I am not anti-gun and have been a gun owner before. I have a healthy respect for gun safety. What the hell were these people thinking? Yes, it was great of them to take the guy in. NO, it was not responsible of them to let the guy have a firearm in his room.

[LisaL]

104. That's what I find so bizarre.

Somehow they thought it was sufficient for him to have a gun in his room in a lockbox, and with him having the key? What did they think that was going to accomplish?
How was that going to work?

[WestIndianArchie]

102. Asshole

This evil murderous racist/white supremacist asshole just killed 17 children. Why are we talking about his depression or how hard of a life he had or his mental problems? Fuck him! Let's talk about the hurt and pain these families are going through or the trauma of survivors of this vile and evil act. Racist/white supremacist will blame everything but their disgusting and degenerate ideology

[handmade34]

103. I applaud this family

Last edited Sat Feb 17, 2018, 11:07 AM - Edit history (1)

for showing kindness to a young man... most likely they did what they thought was safe?

over the years I have taken in many troubled people (my home was a safe house for abused women and I took in teens needing respite from their home)... I always tried to do the right thing and what I believed to be the best for the situation... unless I see evidence otherwise, I imagine this family did the same...

I NEVER would have allowed a gun into my home... I have had a gun pointed at me and I have seen the damage an unstable person can do with a gun... that doesn't mean this family had the same experiences and same feelings... this is all so very sad

[rainin]

109. To those who don't understand those of us who wouldn't allow the gun

Perhaps substitute a gang banger, or a drug addicted friend, or 10 guns, all legal. If you won't say no to any legal action, however threatening, I think you are an enabler not a helper and you bear responsibility for the consequences.