Memo: DU Secret Society Meeting
Secret Society Members
c/o DU's Deep State
Old Swamp Turnpike
Washington, DC 20500
Memorandum on Super Secret Meeting
Dear Secret Society Member:
Please plan to attend the Annual Super Secret Society Ball, which again will be held at the Democratic Front's Top Secret Headquarters. In order to read, diagnose, and respond to this message, use your Secret Society Special Carter Page Double-Agent Code Ring. The one-day meeting will be held on the weekend of “February 30-31” (the exact day being secret).
The Secret Society currently has unlimited funds, due to a massive, untraceable, and illegal grant from the Clinton Foundation. As you may have seen, as not reported, we will disperse these funds liberally to finance our underhanded attempts to restore our constitutional democracy. After distributing massive amounts of cash so dirty that it appears to have been laundered with Steve Bannon's socks, there will be numerous committee reports.
The afternoon opens with Glace Slick's reporting on the successful effort to inject a timed-release ounce of liquid LSD-25 into Sean Hannity's sinus cavity. This dose will be released at the end of Ms. Slick's presentation, and we will witness the results on our new high-definition theater screen, approximately five minutes into Hannity's show.
Next up is the christian evangelist group, the Organization of Religious Groups Against Smutty Material (ORGASM). They will be showing a brief clip of a cult classic by director Vladimir Putin, featuring Donald Trump and three Russian prostitutes. The film was reportedly hacked from Putin's collection by Malcolm Nance, and free copies will be available for distribution.
Oprah Winfrey will then give free buses to audience members, to transport illegal aliens from state-to-state for full participation in the 2018 elections. Computer discs containing the vital statistics of dead republicans will be included with each bus, in order for the masses to infiltrate every republican primary, complete with instructions on how to cast a write-in vote for Roy Moore.
Then, the long-awaited transcripts of the transcripts of President Obama's tapping Donald Trump's telephones will be released. As a special surprise gift, there will be tapes made from the “bugs” that the CIA planted in both Trump's office and home. A much-anticipated highlight is the conversation that Donald Trump, Jr. had with his father immediately following his “dirt-on-Clinton” meeting with the Russian intelligence operatives in June, 2016.
This will be followed by a secret speech by the Secret Society's new Deputy Director of Media Leaks, Andrew McCabe. Though he only officially began at this new position this afternoon, it is anticipated that he will smoothly transition in, Director of Media Leaks James Comey believes. It is believed that McCabe will oversee leaking to the New York Times and Washington Post, to unsettle Trump before his State of the Union speech on Tuesday.
Finally, a scientific documentary regarding speculation about Donald Trump's DNA will be presented. See below link:
Hope to see you there!
Peace,
H2O Man
= new reply since forum marked as read
I WILL BRING TREATS. Chocolate fountain ..... fondue ...... little smokies in crockpot.
Aunt P's special chicken wings, Grandma B's Date Nut Candy, Chip and Dips, Nachos, Cheese board with fruit and
Vegetarian goodies also.
I am your DU Enthusiastic Food Bringer.
We need to put that on a t-shirt and make that a thing now!
We will not leave our friends behind.
