My son blew me off for Mother's Day

[MissMillie]

He's got a wife and kid and I fully expect him to do his utmost to make his wife's Mother's Day special.

But I don't think a phone call is too much to ask.

[Bmoboy]

1. I missmy mom

And my sons blow me off on Father's Day.

[GB_RN]

15. Damn.

I’m sorry to hear that.

This was our first Mother’s Day without Mom and I was OK. Even spending the weekend with Dad, I was OK…until I read the OP and this thread. Just when you think you’re alright, something happens that rips the wounds right back open…

Dad’s all we have left. I can’t imagine not calling him, at minimum.

@MissMillie, I don’t know you, but my Mom is gone, so please accept my belated wishes for a Happy Mother’s Day.

[jimfields33]

2. I used to have neighbors upset the kids didn't call even on Mother's Day.

They decided to tell the kids a quick text would be so great. It worked. Now she at least gets a quick text. I know it’s not the same as a phone call, but it’s something from this generation who doesn’t talk on phone much. The point is now they hear from the kids without pressure. Everyone is happy.

[quaint]

3. Works for grandkids, too.

My son and I do breakfast very early at my place so he has the day for his wife and kids.

[jimfields33]

4. That's great!

[MOMFUDSKI]

5. My son called per usual. We texted later in

the day. Daughter is in absentia for over a year now and that is a good thing. 56 years old and still doesn’t have her stuff together. Always out of money and calling for more. Last call I told her I was too old to be getting these upsetting calls. And I am. We’ve spent thousands of dollars on her thru the years. Enough. I have some friends in the same boat. They were finally done, too.

[Captain Zero]

8. Maybe not the same boat, but hanging around the same dock

Of course, it's all our fault. /s

[._.]

6. Damn

What about a card/letter? I do that because my ma is too deaf to use the phone anymore. But I made sure she gets a whiz bang of a card and a nice letter.

[Fla Dem]

7. I agree, even a text would have been something.

I'm sorry for you. I'm sure you are more hurt than disappointed.

[marble falls]

9. It's a tough thing we parents do. We try to raise them to be independent and when they are ...

... we get our expectations squashed and our feelings hurt.

It's not to much to ask, but we don't ask: we expect. If I think I need to hear from a kid, I call them. They're busy, happy, successful and I am retired with plenty of time. And I keep in mind: they are not here to live up to my expectations (though they most certainly have).

Please accept this from me, a dad - "Happy Mother's Day!"

Also: sons are more likely to be forgetful than daughters. Trust me I know. I have a son, I was a son.

[markodochartaigh]

10. I keep a list of things that I wish that I could share with my Mom.

So many things have changed, for better and for worse, since she passed away. It is a long list.

[XanaDUer2]

11. I'm sorry

It hurts to be forgotten by family

[Mira]

12. When not much, or nothing, happens for me on Mother's day - and other slights

I think Anthony Hopkins said: "Expect Nothing, Accept everything."
There is a lot of power in that if you can make it work for you - and you work with it.

[Permanut]

13. You're hittin' close to home, MissMillie..

My wife has two kids, 47 and 53, no phone call, no text, no card. I get her flowers and cards from the dog and the cat, but it's not the same.

They do communicate when they want something, though.

[maxsolomon]

14. Sorry to hear that.

I had to text my stepson around 6pm and say NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO CALL YOUR MOTHER.

It worked.

[llmart]

16. This is one of the reasons I really don't like designated holidays as a whole.

It's especially true about Mothers Day and Fathers Day. There are so many expectations around what should and shouldn't be done. Both my mother and my father died before I was 22 years old. My husband (now my ex) hated his mother. So I would purchase a card for her from us. I would be standing in the card store and literally get teary eyed reading the lovely sentiments knowing that I certainly didn't feel that for his mother (she was a hateful person) and what I wouldn't give to have my mother to buy a card for or talk to or anything. When he wouldn't do anything for me on Mother's Day he'd say, "you're not my mother".

It is very hurtful and I feel for you. No one can hurt you like a grown child or someone you love.

[orleans]

23. your ex: wouldn't do anything for you on mother's day, saying "you're not my mother"

and if you were he wouldn't do anything for you then either

you were the one picking out a card for his mother.

to your ex

to you for your kindness/thoughtfulness

[llmart]

32. Awww...thank you.

He wasn't a kind person which is why he's my ex. Unfortunately I stayed with him way too long. I guess I felt sorry for him on some level. I couldn't imagine someone's mother being so awful.

[Niagara]

17. I'm sorry to hear that MissMillie

Please know that you are loved and appreciated here on DU.

I realize it's not the same as hearing from your son on Mother's Day.


Lots of hugs to you!

[LoisB]

18. Happy Mothers' Day, MissMillie.

[FormerOstrich]

19. Years ago....

It was studying for finals, catching up on laundry, and prepping for the upcoming week.

At the time my Malamute baby didn't mind our cat but other cats didn't fare so well. On this particular day he killed a beautiful tom cat that had opted to challenge him in his domain. Horrified I wasn't sure what to do so I gathered the poor cat and drove out to Mom and Dad's.

They lived outside of a town on several acres. When I got there I explained to mom what happened. She grabbed a shovel and off we went to bury the poor kitty. I was heartbroken about the death.

As we came down the hill and I was getting in my car mom asked: "Don't you want to come in? Have something to eat? Visit for a bit?". I say, "No, Mom. I have so much going on. I have finals this week etc etc etc".

"Okay, honey. I just hope no one at work tomorrow asks me what my daughter brought me for Mother's Day"!!

She said the look on my face was priceless. Mom has been gone for several years now and not a day goes by that I don't miss here.

[quaint]

25. ...a happy ending to that day because you could spare half an hour?

I hope.

[intrepidity]

28. Great story!

Your mom has a great sense of humor!

[ProfessorGAC]

34. Wonderful Story

Glad I read that!

[vankuria]

20. Happy Mother's Day Miss Millie

Sending you virtual hugs 🤗

[Marthe48]

21. It is painful

Maybe there are other days that are more meaningful to your son. I hope something happens to balance out this low spot.

[Elessar Zappa]

22. Might've just been a brain fart.

I forgot one time to call my mother on Mother’s Day. And I love my mother more than words can express. But I was off work that day, went on a hike. Came home, ate dinner, and fell asleep. The next day I realized I had missed Mother’s Day and frantically called her and apologized profusely. She said she understood but I think I hurt her feelings.

[orleans]

24. i'm sorry (for my bluntness) but you're right

a phone call is not too much to ask for

unless you have a terrible relationship with your kid, or a horribly strained relationship -- a phone call is not too much to ask for

and it makes me wonder what the hell is up with his wife, that she didn't say: "call your mother!"

or even his kid (if the kid is around 11 yrs or older) ("isn't grandma you're mom? what did you get her for mother's day?"

[XanaDUer2]

27. Id give anything to call my mom again nt

[GreenWave]

26. I got it the other way. They only remember me on Father's Day and the heck with the other 362.24 days.

Also on their birthdays and Christmas they seem to perk up.

[Freethinker65]

29. I wanted to FaceTime my Mom, so called to arrange a time with my sister where she is living.

Was told to try back on Monday because she used Mom's money to pay for overnight caretakers so she (my sister) could spend the weekend at her boyfriend's place.

I called the land line hoping a caretaker would answer, but ended up leaving a message. It's the best I could do. I also assume the Mother's Day card I sent is still sitting in the mailbox.

Not everyone had a great Mother's Day. I will try to call her again this evening after my sister gets home.

My Mom is 93 with dementia, has really bad short term memory, and can no longer care for herself. She does still recognize family and friends which is nice. I will be spending a few weeks with her at the end of the month. Luckily my Mom has savings to pay for care. My sister "provides" the house, and typically is around in the evening about the time my Mom goes to sleep.

[BlueKota]

30. Happy Belated Mothers Day.

I am sorry you did not hear from your son.

[TomSlick]

31. I suggest the application of Hanlon's Razor.

"Never ascribed to malice anything that can be adequately explained by stupidity."

My mother would call to see if I was in the hospital.

[BWdem4life]

35. Let me just cheer you up a tad..

My brother disowned my mother for stupid reasons about 15 years ago. He has her blocked on social media and won't show up to any family gatherings if she'll be there. This Mother's day, my mom fell and hurt her head badly while I was on my way there.

So, as a mom, things could be worse!

But he definitely should have called.

[Emile]

36. We experienced the same thing with our son.

I want to tell my son how disappointed I am of him, but his mom (wife) tells me to stay a quiet. Our daughter-in-law didn't feel good on Mothers Day and that was their excuse for not coming over.

I could go on and on about our daughter-in-law, but. . .